New Weight-Loss Program for Liberals

Forget that Weight Watchers membership. Throw out the Atkins Diet book.

Celebrities and left-wing activists have a new, surefire way for the progressively minded to lose those extra pounds.

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No early morning boot camps or expensive workout classes needed. It’s easy! Just contemplate the Trump presidency while you go about your daily life. Follow him on social media. Watch cable news. Read his executive orders.

The weight will melt away!

It’s certainly working for “Girls” star and creator Lena Dunham, where nothing else appeared to do so previously. The famously liberal star has gone from pleasantly plump to positively plucky in, oh, a matter of months.

Dunham stopped by Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show on Monday morning and told Stern she has one person to thank for her fresh new look — President Donald Trump.

“Donald Trump became president and I stopped being able to eat food,” she said. “Everyone’s been asking, like, ‘What have you been doing?’ And I’m like, ‘Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness and you, too, will lose weight,'” as Entertainment Weekly reported.

Related: Lena Dunham Backtracks on Her Abortion Wish

Stress can certainly help the pounds disappear, and scores of people in this country are in dire need of a reversal from the obesity epidemic. For members of the progressive set who have put on a few pounds lately and who buy into Dunham’s “soul-crushing” point of view, maybe watching a few more hours of liberal newscasts each day are in order (they know where to turn for those!).

But stress also causes some people to go the other way — and eat themselves into an overweight state. Have any left-wing celebrities gained an unusual amount of weight lately? Hmm …

The weight loss-by-stress method is not considered a healthy long-term solution, of course, nor is it good for one’s mental health.

But hey, most Hollywood celebs and liberal elites have every conceivable expert at their fingertips, people they can turn to in a nanosecond for counseling, advice, instruction, motivation, and much more: nutritionists, personal trainers, chefs, physicians, mental health gurus … you name it. So no worries there. They’ll deal with it.

And when all of that fails — when they finally accept that President Trump was elected to the presidency of the United States, that he’s the president of all the people, and that he has, in fact, moved into the White House and is running the country as he was elected to do — perhaps the wise next steps might be incorporating some cardio, yoga, deep breathing, and meditation into their daily lives. Oh, and writing in a gratitude journal on a daily basis for the incredible life they have here — in the United States of America.