Any parent knows the sound and the sharp grip of terror that comes with it — the wail of a child in the night. Nothing brings a parent out of his or her own bed more quickly than that.
Our son has never been fearful of bedtime or the dark. But in the last few weeks, he has drifted off to sleep — only to wake up screaming, with his heart pounding.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
Like many diseases, fear is contagious.
Our youngest daughter is now afraid to go to sleep by herself at naptime. She earnestly tells me over and over again, “But Mommy, I’ll be all alone!”
Maybe it has something to do with the approach of Halloween, or maybe it is simply their ages – 6, 5, and 3 – with a greater awareness of the world around them. Regardless of the cause, we have had many conversations with our kids about fear recently. My husband and I can logically explain all the reasons that there is nothing to be afraid of:
1.) We have dogs. The dogs will protect us.
2.) We have an alarm system. The alarm would go off.
3.) We have thoroughly checked in the closet, under the bed, and behind the curtains. Nothing is there.
4.) Mommy and Daddy are here. Nothing can happen to you as along as Mommy and Daddy are here.
But if we only explain the fear away, the fear stubbornly holds tight, like a noose that closes in with every practical point. So we must ask for spiritual guidance. The Bible — 2 Timothy 1:7 — says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” We have nothing to fear, because God is with us. And if God is with us, who can be against us?
I am not naïve enough to think nothing bad will ever happen. The world is fallen, as are the people who live in it. However, I do know that a fearful spirit is busy spending all of its energy on timidity and not on productivity. And a fearful spirit is not from God.
“But, Mom,” said my son one night as I was talking through this verse with him. “I’m still afraid.”
“Well, you have to choose not to be,” I answered gently — while actually feeling a bit hypocritical.
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The truth is, I often let fear and all of the “what ifs” stand in my own pathway. I spend hours thinking about all of the awful possibilities that could happen. I worry over potential accidents and headlines in the news. I fret over the upcoming election and what its outcome will mean for my family. And I nurse anxiety for every danger that may be lurking around the corner.
It is almost as if I subconsciously believe I can ward off these imaginary threats from happening in reality by thinking about them all in great detail — as if I can reign in control of the uncontrollable with my own fear.
And as my son and I discussed the power, love, and sound mind that are offered by God in place of fear, God graciously convinced me that I was speaking truth to myself. I have to choose to not be afraid. I have the source of peace that passes all understanding in my life. I have the power of the Holy Spirit. I trust Christ as Lord and Savior. I am a child of God through His Son. I have to choose to trust in Him with my daily life and the details of my future — not just my eternal salvation.
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Fear is the natural choice, but it is not a healthy way to live. Fear festers and grows and carries its poison to many areas of life. It prevents us from taking opportunities. It clouds our judgment. It robs us of joy.
The next time any of us feel fear take root, we must stop and think of something we are grateful for. Give thanks to God for whatever that gift is. Acknowledge that we feel fear — rational or not — and ask for God to give us confidence to trust in Him. Then choose to not be afraid. Choose to trust in the God who created both heaven and earth in all its intricacy and majesty — and the same God who created us.
Katie Nations has been married for 15 years and is a working mother of three young children. She lives in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
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