We want the Marine back. But can’t we let Griner stay and reflect on her past behavior? After all, why would she want to return to a country she thinks is so horrible? Gregg Gutfeld explains.

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Gutfeld: Happy Friday, everybody. What a great show we have tonight. I almost don’t want to share it with you. So, as you knew, WNBA star Brittney Griner is stuck in a Moscow jail, since February for trying to walk through Russian customs with a vaping pen filled with cannabis oil. The most press the WNBA has ever got, over a traveling violation. Anyway, but really, how stupid is she? I mean, who tries to enter a foreign land with illegal substances?

KAT TIMPF: You’re going to get me put on a no watch list.

It’s true Kat once left Thailand with a dozen ferrets, don’t ask her how. But at least if you’re going to enter a country with drugs, be better at it. Maybe spend a day or two at our border to see how it’s done. Or call this guy for some advice. Yeah. Yeah. You’re clapping now. You’re clapping now. Besides, isn’t that why God made the rectal cavity? It’s how I bring a liter of soda from home into the movie theater, not to brag.

But it’s obviously an absurd arrest and Griner pleaded guilty of possession. But then she complained that she, when she was arrested, the Russian authorities didn’t read her her rights. Which is cute. That’s like complaining that when you ate at the Olive Garden, the hostess didn’t tell you the chefs aren’t from Italy. We’re pretty much the only place who read you your rights, Brittney. That’s one reason to stand for the national anthem, which Brittney doesn’t. Meanwhile, Canada flogs you for mentioning rights. And that’s why I go there twice a year.

But now we learn the U.S. has offered to exchange prisoners in order to bring her and an American Marine, Paul Whelan, home. Biden reportedly backs the deal. So who are we trading for? Well, Viktor Bout is a Russian arms dealer known as “The Merchant of Death,” whose weapons sales fueled deadly global conflicts. Russian officials have long wanted Bout back, who is serving a 25-year sentence in the U.S. after convicted in 2011 of conspiracy to kill Americans, deliver anti-aircraft missiles and aiding a terrorist organization. He got another 25 for inspiring a Nicolas Cage movie. The prosecutors wanted life, and still he’s a tad more dangerous than someone who shoots about 35% from the three-point line. But now he could return to Russia in exchange for Griner and the Marine.

Now to some this trade seems more lopsided than Trey Gowdy’s haircut, well, and the U.S. State Department is usually against such trades since they incentivize countries to detain Americans, and then they use them as bargaining chips. I mean, could you imagine if some country got a hold of this guy?

Image Credit: YouTube Screenshot

This is why I rarely leave this country or my home. You know, I once went to Jersey and I was held captive by the governor in exchange for 25 women without mustaches. That is really terrible.