Why the First Six Weeks of College Are So Critical

(continued from previous page)
5.) Do not visit before parents’ weekend — and do not let your child come home for an unscheduled visit. Both these actions interrupt the natural flow of the acclimation process.

There will be times during the first six weeks when your child expresses an interest in coming home. As hard as it may be to deny this request, it’s imperative that you do. The cure for homesickness is not being at home; rather, connecting to other people and places on campus will mitigate the longing for “home sweet home.” By taking responsibility for their own happiness, freshmen will take greater ownership of their lives.

6.) If your child asks for help in a class, do not ignore that. By the same token, do not arrange for any tutoring yourself.

Ask your student whether there are services available on campus — and have her do the seeking out and any other arrangements. Those services are usually part of the college expense.

7.) Curb that parental urge to indulge. This means, bluntly: Do not pay for meals out just because your college students don’t like the food in the dining halls. Do not pay for private laundry services, either, if “the laundry room is too crowded and there are never any open washing machines!”

Freshmen can work this out — and besides, they frequently befriend others while they’re eating or doing their wash.

Related: The Truth About Freshman Year

8.) If your child becomes sick, tell him or her to go to the health services department. Do not call the physician from home or call in prescriptions to campus.

9.) Don’t be the intermediary between your child and Amazon. Students can figure out on their own how to replace a phone charger, buy toothpaste, rent textbooks, and order snacks.

10.) Do not plan an extended family vacation over winter break. A few days away is fine — but often freshmen will want to go somewhere with their friends. Encouraging this is a good way to cement friendships.

Related: Shocker! Grown-Up College Kids Actually Exist

When your freshman is happy to see you during parents’ weekend and then doesn’t know what to do with you — you’ll know your strategies have worked. Do not cling to your students during that weekend, by the way. Let them ask you to join in whatever activities they’d like — and plan on doing some things on your own.

If your freshman opts to spend time with friends even while you’re there — your student is adapting successfully to college life.

Daniel Riseman, founder of Riseman Educational Consulting in Irvington, New York, has been counseling students and working with families for more than 17 years. [lz_pagination]