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Conflict is normal and even healthy.
Differences between two people mean there are things you can learn from each other and helps you see where you need to grow.
Know when to take a timeout. It’s important to know when to hit the pause button and take a break. The conversation will be there when you return.
Establish rules ahead of time. Things like no interrupting, no name calling, respecting when the other person needs a timeout or some space, avoid blaming, no use of force, keep your voice at a reasonable level and tone.
Speak for yourself, not someone else. Use words that describe how you feel and what you want and need, not what your partner feels, wants, or believes. This includes using “I” statements, not “you” statements.
Stay in the present. It is discouraging to repeatedly bring up the past.
Related: Be Happier in Your Marriage
Go after the issue, not each other. Staying focused on the issue, rather than picking each other apart with personal attacks, will help the conflict move towards resolution a lot more quickly. It’s also critical that you stay in the present.
Get out of your own way. Try finding points of agreement, things you both feel the same about, and try to work from there.
Related: The Secrets of Raising Happy Children
Finding common ground, even if it’s agreeing that there is a problem, is an important start to finding a common solution.
Sara Hermanson is a freelance writer in Washington State whose focus is health, wellness, fitness and parenting. [lz_pagination]
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