How to Plan a Party for Your College-Bound Teen

Starting as early as pre-K, your child may have put in as many as 13 to 15 years of blood, sweat and tears through primary, junior and high school. It’s all been about making the grade on the way to high school graduation, a strong and happy achievement in life, to be sure, and applying to college or trade school to further the education.

And whether your student excelled in sports, academics or the arts (not to exclude the art of getting along with others), you already know: It took everything your child had — in heart, mind, body and soul — to realize his potential, among the stiffest competition these days, to receive that acceptance letter from a desired school of higher education.

Your child will appreciate your thoughtfulness and efforts always.

Indeed, this rite of passage for young people — that cherished acceptance — can be more individually rewarding than the graduation parties that follow. While the latter is part of tradition, it’s been my experience as a mom that teens feel let down when families bypass what constitutes their finest hour of accomplishment.

As a result, meet their understandable exaltation with more than a high five, pat on the back, hug, congratulatory phone call or email — none of which will be bookmarked as a treasured family memory they have fought for, won and deserved.

Here’s one suggestion for a family celebration to remember that will fit most household budgets in America. Before any expected acceptance letters arrive, make a current list of all family members and circles, thus creating a template for what will be a most memorable day for your teen. And don’t fret if acceptance letters, along with wait-list correspondence, have already been received; it’s never too late to pull off this kind of celebration on even the smallest scale.

Related: Three Sneaky Ways to Get Your Teen to Pay for College

As a mom who was once in this position, my address book and contact list was the best source for targeting invitees, with its list of holiday and birthday-card recipients over the years. The target group should be those who have been most involved with your teen over the years. After all, your child is also someone’s valued grandchild, younger sibling, nephew or niece, cousin, godchild, or stepchild — not to mention the many lives touched in your teen’s circles in school, sports, clubs, and church. And don’t overlook your own relationships and circles, both personally and professionally.

After compiling my own list, I was astonished when it amounted to 40 people. Maybe not everyone would want to get involved, but I felt it was worth a try — and I wanted to use a personal and thoughtful touch. I worked hard on writing the note and sent it off through the mail, in hard copy, along with an RSVP card for people to send back. Your own note could look something like this:

Dear [Relative or Friend],

Good news! Your [grandson, nephew, buddy] has done it! He’s been accepted at [name of college or trade school] despite stiff competition. And the cost is already accounted for [cite any scholarship and/or funding from family savings and college loan(s)].

As a result, we’re planning a joyous celebration in his honor and would love for you to join us. We know it will be a memorable and blessed day for all!

With abundant gratitude and love,

[Your Signature]

The goal is to host an enthusiastic group of people who will contribute toward a great day for your son or daughter. Your extra care here will reap good results in the long run.

Once you’ve sent off your note, be prepared for phone calls and emails in reply — and for reaching out a few extra times to some super-busy (or less organized?) people in the group. Then there’s the aunt or relative who will always want to know: “How are you going to pay for this party? May I help in some way?” (Also, some relatives will want to know how you’re handling the cost of college or trade school, not to mention living expenses, travel expenses and more. That’s a separate and very personal circumstance, of course.)

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Emphasize to people that their companionship and good cheer at the party are what you’re after, all for the sake of your child.

Whether you arrange for a small party of 10 closest family members and friends, or something on a larger scale, sticking with your budget will guide the result as much as your teen’s choice of venue for the event.

Whatever you decide as a family, make sure to take lots of photos and video once the party begins. Such a visual gallery of memories will become a reward in and of itself, as it was for my own son.

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When your child is challenged later in life — whether socially, academically, financially, spiritually — you’ll have at the ready inspiring evidence in a family album of love and support for all that he is and can be — no matter what the future holds. Most of all, your child will appreciate your thoughtfulness and your efforts always.

The author, a retired attorney, is a published poet, writer, and columnist based in Arizona.