No Laughing Matter

Jerry Seinfeld, for all his wealth and talent, always stays in his lane, as the saying goes.

His current gig, “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” finds him picking up fellow comedians and driving them to get a cup of Joe.

No long-winded diatribes about equal pay at the Oscars. No overtly hostile-to-capitalism storylines in their banter. Not all comedians stick to that game plan. Consider Al Franken, the “Saturday Night Live” alum who now serves Minnesota as one of its two Democratic U.S. senators.

More recently, a former comedian became the new president of Guatemala. CNN.com reported Jimmy Morales, 46, snared more than 67 percent of the votes in his country’s presidential election last month. Morales told the network his comedy background would help him in his new gig.

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You read that right, folks. A standup comedian named Jimmy (not Fallon or Kimmel) is going to be the next president of an actual country in the Western Hemisphere.

Morales goes to Guatemala City with an overwhelming mandate from the beleaguered citizenry who are fed up with the status quo of corruption, incompetence and chicanery at the highest levels of their government.

We’ve already seen a reality-show star making huuuge waves in the 2016 presidential race.

Could the same happen here? We’ve already seen a reality-show star making huuuge waves in the 2016 presidential race.

That begs the question: Which homegrown comedian would make the best POTUS?

• Chris Rock: Considered by many comedians to be the most powerful, poignant standup working today, Rock possesses precision-like timing and razor-sharp wit. He’s quick on his feet and can work a room with the best of them. While telling insightful, racially charged jokes isn’t the ideal background for a commander-in-chief, President Rock would suffer very few fools and tell the country exactly what he was thinking and feeling at every moment of the day.
• Louis C.K: The wildly popular, jack-of-all-trades “Louie” has exploded onto the comedy and television scene in recent years with trendsetting standup specials and an Emmy-winning FX show. Louie works blue, but the guy speaks on behalf of millions of middle-age Americans — especially those with kids and thinning hair — and has found a way to make his parentally minded commentary accessible (and relevant) to millennials. Ultimately, however, C.K.’s self-described desire to just disappear for months at a time between projects may not mesh well with the presidency’s grueling grind.
• Bill Burr: Whether skewering pop-culture sacred cows like the late Steve Jobs, ranting on the various political conspiracy theories he is well versed in, or complaining about his love-hate relationship with high-fat foods on his Monday Morning Podcast, Burr is nothing if not a man of the people. But if the ability to maintain a level head is a prerequisite for being the leader of the free world, then, sadly, we would have to pass on a Burr presidency.

There are, of course, many other comedy options. Bill Maher would immediately open the marijuana-toking floodgates at a federal level. The red-hot Amy Schumer would probably offend other foreign dignitaries by insisting that they divulge the craziest locale they’ve ever had sexual intercourse.

Jon Stewart wants to be a film director, so he’s probably out of the competition. Stephen Colbert just got the Letterman “Late Show” job, so he can’t wiggle out of his contract. And then there’s Carrot Top, but he might just creep everybody out.

Good luck, Guatemala!