Our Most Self-Absorbed Generation

Everyone wants to know what my generation — the oft-discussed and much-maligned millennials — thinks about, well, everything.

It makes sense for leaders, advertisers and taxpayers alike to be interested in what the future batch of decision-makers thinks right now.

But there are more than a few inconsistencies in the worldview of the average young adult these days.

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In short, they want Democrat presidential candidate Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders — along with the roaring entrepreneurism his policies could well stamp out in his march to full-blown socialism. Backing up that claim are these findings from a recent USA Today article: “Millennials around the world worry most about social and economic equality, remain skeptical of government and the media, and count Tesla CEO Elon Musk as one their heroes, according to a World Economic Forum survey released Sunday.”

My fellow millennials find themselves caught between Barack Obama and a hard drive.

The piece goes on to reaffirm the dichotomous priorities and passions of people born after 1980 who want both income redistribution and the blessings of dynamic entrepreneurial activity. My fellow millennials find themselves caught between Barack Obama and a hard drive when it comes to their personal priorities.

Everyone wants world peace. Everyone wants an end to hunger. We all want our fellow man to find employment. But we also like stuff. And by “stuff,” I simply mean “the miraculous, globe-changing technology … that do not come about by the collective ‘good vibes’ of well-intentioned 28 year olds.”

The same young folks who don Che Guevara T-shirts were the ones tearing up outside of Apple stores the day Steve Jobs died.

In the same survey, millennials from across the planet say that they rely heavily on their laptops, smartphones and tablets, and that the United States is the top destination for employment. Of course the token names of Mandela, Gandhi and Obama rank high on the list of “Most Admired” world leaders, but so do Elon Musk, Bill Gates and other titans of industry. The same young folks who don Che Guevara T-shirts were the ones tearing up outside of Apple stores the day Steve Jobs died.

There are reasons people swim through shark-infested waters to come to America. There are economic policies that don’t involve massive wealth redistribution that explain why capitalists like Gates and Musk have done so well and have been able to give back so much. It is (not to millennials) entirely possible to be in favor of capitalism and remain charitable and civic minded.

But, regrettably, millennials have grown up consuming popular culture that is saturated with anti-capitalistic, America-bashing messages.

Green Day warned of the American Idiot. Every bad guy portrayed in Hollywood is the head of a corporation and looks a lot like Dick Cheney (In “The Lego Movie,” the villain was simply known as President Business). Barack and Michelle Obama go on MTV, or give the commencement address at a university, and proudly preach the virtues of shunning career success in the private sector in favor of dutiful public service. They’re multi-multi-millionaires who flew in on their own 747 jumbo jet.

Young people text their friends a positive review of the latest Matt Damon flick about the evils of drilling for oil and gas on an iPhone made of the same stuff that someone risked their life and fortune obtaining for us to use.

Every bad guy portrayed in Hollywood is the head of a corporation and looks a lot like Dick Cheney.

My generation wants all of the good stuff capitalism brings with it, but also craves the fleeting emotional satisfaction of being able to agree with Mark Ruffalo’s latest socialism tweet. We want people to know that we have the utmost respect and reverence for the late Nelson Mandela — a man who studied the dictums and strategies of communists like Chairman Mao and Fidel Castro — but also can’t wait to see the latest biopic of the life and times of Steve Jobs, an unapologetically self-promoting CEO from Silicon Valley.

My theory on this disconnect is simple. We don’t know what we’re talking about. We don’t care about, or learn from, history. We are allowed to perpetually live in the moment — a moment of arrested adolescence — thanks to technology and modern gatekeepers of information who only want us to remember the good parts of past events that match with their own worldview. And we’ll eat that up, as long as it’s spoon fed.

It is a very small world indeed if nothing good happened in the days before “Full House” was on the air.