Travel in Style

You are traveling, so of course you want to be comfortable. It seems like a good idea — it is a cramped little plane you’ll be on for hours, and no one wants to sit in that tiny seat wearing a wool suit or a nice dress.

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You want comfy shoes, stretchy clothes, nothing starched or stiff. And you’re going to change your outfit when you get where you’re going, anyway, so what’s the problem?

Here’s the problem: Some travelers have taken this notion to the extreme, as a glance around any airport proves.

It’s not just about casual wear while traveling. It’s about The Ultimate Slobs. Sweatpants, cut offs and flip-flops are now the norm. A review of today’s gate-waiters looks like a runway show where the “fashions” were dredged up in a dumpster dive. A matching top and bottom purple velour sweatsuit with the word “CHIC” on the rear end? Really?

Sweatpants, cut offs, and flip-flops are standard. It gets worse and worse.

But this whole approach — comfort at any cost — is a mistake, and not just mean a social one. Here’s why: It’s not in the traveler’s best interest to look like a bumkin. There are too many contingencies in travel that require you to rely on the kindness of strangers. At every stage, from the time you park your car to the time you unlock your hotel room door, your well-being is in the hands of others (and let’s be frank, those people are judging you on your appearance).

A core principle of dressing well is that it’s not really about you. It’s about the respect you show others. It is a signal about the regard you have for them: Their workplace, their jobs, their status, their values. It makes sense that the more respect you show for others, the more they will show for you.

A core principle of dressing well is that it is not really about you. It is about the respect you show others.

That means: Dress up when you travel. It’s when it is most necessary. (And remember, flying used to be a Sunday-best endeavor — it isn’t anymore, of course, but there’s the acceptable and the clearly, uh, not.)

Here’s the make-or-break test. Compare two scenarios: One flyer boards in a suit and tie, the other in baggy sweats and a T-shirt. I’ve actually tried this, and boy is there a difference in treatment.

Sure, I’ve traveled looking terribly. Result: Averted eyes, very little chitchat from the flight attendants. But when you board in a suit and tie, you are greeted with enthusiasm — and respect. They even call you “Mister.”

Why is this? Because flight attendants have to dress professionally as part of their work — clean ironed shirt, pressed pants or skirt. This is their workplace and they want to believe their job is special, so they are especially welcoming to people who treat them and their profession with dignity.

But there’s more than just a little respect in it for you. When you’re sitting on a plane and look respectable, little favors come your way. You get two tiny bags of peanuts, while the guy with the sleeveless Metallica T-shirt gets just one. You get the full can of sparkling water rather than just the tiny cup the attendant gives the lady with the skin-tight shorts she should’ve thrown away 10 years ago. Sometimes you even get a free cocktail or two.

When you are sitting on a plane and look respectable, little favors come your way.

Matters can turn serious if you miss a flight or need to re-book after a flight is canceled. The people behind the assistance counter have far more discretion than you might know: They can book you on the next flight at no charge, they control the standby list, they can even get you on a flight after certain deadlines have passed. You want to show up there in a pair of cargo shorts and a Motley Crue sweatshirt with Cheetos stains?

If you show respect for them in the way you dress, will you be treated better? Absolutely. Maybe you won’t get everything you want, but your chances of grabbing a small favor here and a little privilege there go up dramatically.

This is all about subtle signaling, and none of the airline workers granting special favors would admit it’s all about dress. But it’s there, subconsciously, and it’s real.

The domain of traveling is all about meeting strangers. It’s about fleeting relationships, and everyone has to economize on time, extracting as much information as possible from first impressions. Everyone in a position to help you has to ask whether you matter — and how much (and they also size you up quickly on whether you think they matter — and that matters).

What’s the most conspicuous of all signals that provides that first impression? The clothes you’re wearing.

Everyone has the right to dress the way he or she wants. This is America. And being comfortable on a 10-hour flight is no small matter. But remember: Others have the right to judge your dress and decide how to treat you based solely on your attire. Is it always fair? No, but it is reality.

But there’s an upside. The slobification of the nation’s traveling class is actually an opportunity to stand out — and you don’t have to show up in a tuxedo, just some nice pants, a clean shirt, a pretty dress. That’s something that says, “I gave more than five seconds worth of thought before I left the house in my gardening sweats.”

Do it now before everyone else figures out the trick.