The teen years aren’t easy, especially when it comes to dating. As hormones fly and parents try to keep up with who their son or daughter is interested in romantically, moms and dads need to take a deep breath and try to strengthen communication with their child.

“For eighth graders, dating likely means lots of time spent talking on the phone and hanging out in groups,” Jessica Timmons notes in Healthline.com. “Some kids may have progressed to hand-holding as well. In high school, strong romantic attachments can be formed and things can get serious, fast.”

When your children mention dating or a girlfriend or boyfriend, try to get an idea of what those concepts mean to them. “Take note of how your child reacts when you discuss dating. It could be a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but if your child is unable to even discuss it with you without getting defensive or upset, take that as a sign that they probably aren’t ready.”

Related: Should My Teenager Date?