Close friends and family have good intentions when a new baby comes home from the hospital; they bring food, call often to check in, or send notes and baby gifts. These ideas, as thoughtful as they are, often fall short of providing the kind of help and support a new mother truly needs.

“Offering to watch a new mama’s older kids is such a huge help because often the most overwhelming part of having a new baby is juggling the needs of older children with those of the newborn, neither of which are very patient,” mom and blogger Emily Clements told LiveRenewed.com. “You can invite the older children over to your house for a play date to give the mama some time at home. Or you can offer to watch the kids at her house while she goes out and runs errands with the baby.”

Related: New Parents Need No Sleep, Apparently