Oversharing Goes Mainstream

If you didn’t tweet it, did it really happen?

It’s an absurdist question, but then, these are absurd times. Social media is killing the private moment, and there’s no end in sight.

We used to have private moments, things only our nearest and dearest knew about. Now every meal and solid BM is documented and shared with the world in the hope that someone else will comment on or “like” it.

Social media has connected us in ways never thought possible, but in doing so it has disconnected us from real life in a way never imagined.

Related: Social Media’s Shallow Spirituality

Facebook used to be a place to learn of events and reconnect with old friends, making attending your high school reunion unnecessary. In other words, it was a useful tool. Now it’s a kiosk for some of life’s most intimate moments.

We’ve all seen the “I could use your prayers right now” statuses, or the “We lost so-and-so today” posts. The “We’ve decided to get divorced” and “I lost my job today” updates. Things just five years ago we’d have to have pried out of us by our best friend are now thoughtlessly keyboard-stroked to the entire world.

We’re one “enter” button push away from attention — praise, sympathy, empathy, whatever.

Have we really become so desperate for feedback, even from strangers, that we’re willing to forgo decorum? The “funeral selfie” suggests we are.

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Reality TV made the “Real World” generation into voyeurs. We all loved to judge those “seven strangers getting real” as fools, but we were secretly envious. Their house was always amazing and in a city we’d love to visit, let alone live in. The Internet and social media has made that possible.

But the advent of the medium wasn’t enough to transform society into narcissists. It must’ve been there all along. So what set it free?

There was a time when outlandish behavior was judged, was shunned. Civil society not only kept lawns clear of cars on blocks and curtains closed in bedrooms, but it stopped us from acting on some of our baser instincts. There was a difference between “famous” and “infamous.” Not any more.

Related: Kids’ Safety on Social Media

“Celebrity sex tapes” are now a thing. Otherwise untalented people now make millions because they sold an intimate moment to the world. And the world, rather than recoil in distaste, bought it and begged for more.

Attention is the drug; the manner in which it is obtained is irrelevant.

Attention is the drug; the manner in which it is obtained is irrelevant.

It’s not uncommon for people to post a death in the family to social media before calling friends or other family members. Joining in the public grieving process is the new black. School pageants, plays and sporting events once brimmed with proud parents, now they’re seas of cellphones and iPads recording the event to share later.

We’re missing our lives while documenting them to share with others. And that’s clearly not progress.