Campus Craziness Reaches Peak Snowflake

According to local news reports on Wednesday, Thorneloe University in Ontario, Canada, was rocked with controversy after two radical feminist posters were ripped from faculty members’ doors and a “Black Lives Matter” sign was changed to read “All Lives Matter.”

The incident compelled Thorneloe President Robert Derrenbacker to issue a statement condemning the “hateful vandalism.”

“They are in that lovely innocent phase of life that is characterized by never having been made to pay federal incomes taxes. Later in life, they will become normal, sane people.”

“Thorneloe University community stands against all forms of hate, harassment, intimidation and violence,” wrote Derrenbacker.

Not to be outdone by Derrenbacker’s hyperbolic statement, the university’s Department of Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies also issued a statement calling the acts a “chilling reminder of the persistence and rise of anti-black and anti-feminist backlash in these troubling times.”

But administrators didn’t stop there.

So perturbed by the vandalism were the school’s faculty and staff they felt the need to go to the police.

“The incident was reported to Greater Sudbury Police, who are in the process of investigating, according to GSPS spokesperson Kaitlyn Dunn,” reported the local newspaper The Sudbury Star. Derrenbacker even indicated the police would investigate the incident as a possible hate crime.

Meanwhile, in Claremont, California, a group of Latina students at Pitzer College recently painted “White Girl, take off your [hoop earrings]!!!” on a free speech wall. Apparently white women wearing hoop earrings is considered by some politically correct circles to constitute the crime of “cultural appropriation.”

“If you didn’t create the culture as a coping mechanism for marginalization, take off those hoops, if your feminism isn’t intersectional take off those hoops, if you try to wear mi cultura when the creators can no longer afford it, take off those hoops, if you are incapable of using a search engine and expect other people to educate you, take off those hoops,” said Jacquelyn Aguilera, one of the students responsible for the message.

At MIT, ostensibly home to some of the most brilliant minds in the country, a group of white faculty and staff just launched a “White Person’s Accountability Group” in order to help white students and faculty understand their “roles both in perpetuating systemic racism and in dismantling it.”

In addition, the group also considers its mission to “increase our racial literacy” and to “hold one another accountable to advancing racial justice in our own personal, institutional, and societal spheres.”

Last Wednesday, students at Gettysburg College were encouraged by the school’s administration to skip class and attend a “student solidarity rally.” The rally’s mission statement encouraged students to “forgo their normal classes” in order to attend, and asked professors to “bring their students with them,” rather than teach a normal class.

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“Outrage is an industry, and big outrage has replaced big tobacco as the path to coolness on college campuses,” Eddie Zipperer, assistant professor of political science at Georgia Military College, told LifeZette.

“Most students engage in this sort of self-righteous nonsense as part of the college experience. They are in that lovely innocent phase of life that is characterized by never having been made to pay federal incomes taxes. Later in life, they will become normal, sane people,” Zipperer said.