In today’s digital world, not only is Big Brother watching over you and following your every move, click, post and update — but so is your mobile and digitally savvy actual older brother or sister.
That’s the reality for many teens and even younger kids in 2015, as almost anything they write or post on Instagram or Facebook is seen in a nanosecond by their watchful and tech-savvy older siblings. The older sibs are using the extended social networks at their fingertips to keep track of what their little sisters and brothers are doing online, who they’re spending time with and where they might be going.
In an age of constant connectedness, call it the new sibling surveillance.
In an age of constant connectedness, call it the new sibling surveillance.
Or, as the Wall Street Journal put it recently, “In the era of helicopter parenting, meet the helicopter sibling.”
The sibling, some experts say, is in effect becoming a new kind of family guardian.
“Digital technology that older parents often haven’t yet mastered enables watchful siblings to keep tabs on their brethren and relay key information, often filtered, back to parents in ways that keep both sides happy,” WSJ reported.
Digital diligence on the part of older sibs can have its complications, too. Some may call it caring. Others see it as spying.
Some siblings enjoy and appreciate the connection, and some parents take comfort in it as well. But the digital diligence on the part of older sibs can have its complications. Some may call it caring, while others may see it as spying. And what if an older sibling comes upon information that indicates a younger sibling is at risk or in danger?
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The natural inclination to protect a sister or brother by running to Mom or Dad with the risky news could put an older sibling in a precarious situation psychologically, even while it checks all the right boxes under street smarts and common sense.
Larry Torrisi, a family therapist in Westchester County, New York, says there is no question that today’s technology, while improving our quality of life, presents challenges and risks for both children and families.
The sibling may be the new answer to keeping an eye on kids. But that doesn’t absolve parents of responsibility.
“Cellphones, texting, Instagram and Facebook provide kids with an endless array of ways to keep in touch while simultaneously maintaining a higher degree of isolation within the family,” he said. Often, “parents no longer have the opportunity to chat briefly with their children’s friends, as the family phone has been replaced with individual communication devices for every member. So how do parents keep abreast of their children’s social network, which increases exponentially with Facebook’s potential 500 friends?”
The sibling may be the new answer. But that certainly doesn’t absolve or excuse parents of responsibility.
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Even siblings who appreciate and enjoy the new digital oversight and interconnectedness acknowledge some of the challenges. Lillian Carone, 20, of Milltown, New Jersey, the older sister of 17-year-old Willow Carone, told WSJ she wants her sister to trust her and “not block her” on any of the social networks. Yet, she also wants to balance that trust with a sense of responsibility “if Willow were ever to get into real trouble.”
This new digital shadowing, while comforting and workable in many ways, could also lay a heavy burden on the shoulders of some siblings. In other words: Watch all you want. But handle with care.
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