The Dreaded Kindergarten Drop-Off

That first day of kindergarten is looming. Will your child be ready for this big adventure — and how will you ever let go of that little hand at the classroom door?

Get tough fast! This is a natural step in your child’s life — and good not only for your child but for you, too.

“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers,” novelist and publisher E.W. Howe once wryly observed.

Still, the separation can be hard, and preparation is key. Here are some tips to navigate the days and weeks before the school doors open:

1.) Make a positive connection as soon as possible.
“Write the teacher an introductory note before school starts,” said Amy Mascott, a mother, former teacher, and founder of the popular parenting blog Teachmama.com. “This serves to introduce your child to [his or her] teacher — maybe the teacher will even write back. Your child can hand it to the teacher on the first day as well — it’s just a little connection with the teacher, building that relationship.”

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2.) Practice nimbleness.
“Before children can learn to write, they have to develop their fine motor skills,” advised BabyCenter.com. “To help, give your child small jobs to do around the house that encourage him to use the muscles in his arms and fingers, such as opening mail, sorting silverware, stirring batter, and tying shoes.”

3.) Ready those skills.
“It’s important they feel confident in their abilities that first day,” said Mascott. “Do a little practice with numbers and letters in these days before school begins, with a focus on the child’s name. A child going into kindergarten should at least recognize his name, if not be able to write it. Make sure the child knows his whole name, including his middle name.”

“A nice idea is a name book — just a little book you can make at home, where children can write their name each morning, like they will in school,” Mascott continued. “Maybe first all uppercase letters, then maybe lowercase — it doesn’t really matter so much if they do it, but instead, that they try. If you’ve prepared them, they won’t be startled if the teacher asks them to do it in class.”

Make sure little ones can unwrap their own lunches, advised Mascott. It’s another skill that can be practiced with a picnic in the front yard. “Those little confidence-builders are important,” she noted. “Can they punch their juice box with the straw?”

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Children should also know how to put their outdoor clothes and shoes on. “It’s hard, but giving them breathing room in a safe environment is good — let them practice these skills, and let them play with their little friends in the yard without you hovering,” said Mascott.

4.) Begin great relationships.
You know those moms at drop-off who gossip about teachers? Don’t be one.

“Set a tone — parents should remember to refrain from any toxic conversation about teachers,” said Mascott. “Keep it positive, keying in on how hard teacher works. From the beginning, it needs to be clear to the child that the teacher and the parents are partners.”

5.) Hold it together.
It’s important to stay calm and upbeat — you are the child’s barometer for how safe and exciting an experience this is going to be. If you are nervous, you child will be, too. Be the grown-up.

Fall apart when you’re alone. And stay busy.

“It’s important to hold it together,” advised Mascott. “Kids need to see a strong parent — they need to know you’ll be OK without them for the day. Stress the adventure. Talk enthusiastically about going to art, music and PE [physical education] — be a strong front. They don’t need to be worrying about you. If you fall apart, which is normal, fall apart when you’re alone. And remember to stay busy yourself.”

Also, remember to make sure your child is well-rested before the first day. A bedtime schedule is helpful the weeks prior to the start of the school year, experts agree. A visit to the school can be helpful for your kindergartner to picture what it will be like.

“Many schools hold an orientation for pre-kindergartners, but feel free to supplement that visit with more informal ones,” noted BabyCenter.com. “Take your child to visit the school at different times during the day so he can see children getting on and off the bus, and playing during recess.”