The Day I Taught My Son to Swim in the Ocean

Although most little kids love the ocean, my son years ago was not one of them. Even as an infant he hated the water, even bath water.

Still, in raising my multi-disabled child as a single parent, I learned that God may use “the least and last” as inspiration for others.

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So this story is for parents of all children, special needs or not.

The children in our family spent many summer vacations at the Jersey shore in Harvey Cedars, a town on Long Beach Island. A favorite activity from grandparents down to the smallest child was swimming in the ocean.

I caved on my first attempt to teach my son this by trying a kiddy-pool approach at our swim club. To my dismay, my son, who was then about six, took one look at the shallow water and panicked — arching his back, flailing his arms and screaming, “It hurts my eyes! It smells! It burns!” Given his deafness, his Asperger’s syndrome, his OCD, and his severe allergies, the odds of my teaching him to swim at all seemed next to none.

But this wasn’t fair. And never mind the cliché, “Life isn’t fair” — this was my child. I looked to the heavens and thought, “My son’s going to learn to swim in the ocean like every member of this family!”

A week later, my son and I made the long drive from our northern New Jersey home back down to the shore. He was quiet and enjoyed watching the flashing lights on the toll booths, the shiny cars in stop-and-go traffic, and the causeway to the island with its gleaming railings. After settling in for a good night’s sleep, the next morning I gathered up everything needed for our first beach day, including season badges, umbrella, chairs, toys, prescription meds — and a picnic lunch.

And here are the challenges I faced.

1.) Ignoring the initial protests. As we approached a large sand dune leading to the beach, my son said, startled, “You want me to climb up this mountain?”

I nodded and kept walking. “Yes, unless you want to wait here alone.”

He grimaced but huffed and puffed until we reached the top. He shook his head and said, “I can’t do this! It’s too big! My feet are burning, the water looks scary and I want to go home!”

“No,” I replied, and took his hand. We made our way to a spot on the beach to stake our little claim.

2.) Using the art of distraction. For some parents, it helps to have toys such as pails and shovels, beach balls and boogie boards. But my kid wasn’t buying any of it. So I got him comfortable under the beach umbrella and gave him a sheaf of paper. I asked him to draw all the telephone poles and transformers he’d seen along the highway on our way down here.

“I don’t have to swim?”

I nodded. “Not now. But let’s see if your teachers are right about your photographic memory.”

Related: Tough Love Wasn’t the Answer for This Mom

Enjoying the easier challenge, he drew those beloved telephone poles and electric transformers in exquisite detail.

3.) Creeping toward the water on a dare. Soon I pointed to the sea and said, “I’m going swimming alone. The waves can be tough, but that’s the fun of it.”

He looked worried. “What do you mean ‘alone’?”

“You’re not coming with me, so I’m going by myself. You’ll be fine here.”

He stood up. “Wait. I’ll watch you.” (go to page 2 to continue reading) [lz_pagination]