‘Snowflake Test’ for Job Applicants Weeds Out the Unproductive

One CEO has been pretty blunt about the people he is not looking to hire. That’s right: No snowflakes need apply. And to make sure he doesn’t hire one by mistake, he’s developed The Snowflake Test for applicants.

Kyle S. Reyes, who heads up Silent Partner Marketing in Manchester, Connecticut, wrote an article for the NewBostonPost this month, explaining the reasons for his test.

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“You’d better put on your safety pin,” he began. “This article is sure to trigger some of you. Why? Because … gasp … you’re about to get some real talk from someone who makes hiring and firing decisions every single day. Companies across the country do their best to make you feel all warm and fuzzy about them,” he continued. “They want EVERYONE to want to work for them.”

Indeed, companies are aggressively on the hunt for the very best talent. At the same time, these companies now have to deal with upset employees hashing out their political viewpoints and attending marches and protests — all on the company clock. Productivity plummets when passionate debate takes over in the workplace.

“Companies feel pressured to let employees vent and participate in all these political activities, like protests,” a mortgage professional in Boston told LifeZette. “The mood is borderline hysterical when politics are being discussed — and no employer wants someone tweeting, ‘My boss won’t let me attend the Women’s March.'”

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Other business leaders are taking note of Reyes’ bold move. “My agency is very blessed to have been inundated with more than 15,000 emails and messages of support,” Reyes told LifeZette. “Among those messages, the CEOs of more than 100 companies have reached out asking for guidance in how they can tap into this silent majority … without alienating customers.”

“I’m just here to make marketing great again!”

Reyes has decided to take control of his own workplace instead of letting employees set the tone — and he explains some of the perks of employment with his company in his article. “Listen, we’ve got all of the magical stuff. We have a 30-foot bar in the office with literally thousands of bottles of heavenly liquid. We have an XBox, huge beanbag chairs, an office dog, a private caterer, and a personal trainer.”

Reyes notes that the company gets hundreds of people applying to work for with them. The problem? Many of them weren’t up to par, for a variety of reasons — many for liberal tendencies.

“Lots of people suck,” he noted bluntly in the Post. “I realized that pretty quickly … and I also realized it was a time suck on my staff and me to be weeding through endless piles of paper trying to find the handful of people who actually want to hustle for a living and would be a great fit for our company.”

His solution? The Snowflake Test.

“So I’ve implemented something that is going to give HR managers and the PC Police night sweats,” he wrote. “I lovingly refer to it as The Snowflake Test. Anyone who may be a viable candidate for our agency has to take the test before they get an at-bat at an interview.”

Some of the questions on The Snowflake Test include:

• What are your feelings about employees or clients carrying guns?
• Should “trigger warnings” be issued before we release content for clients or the company that might be considered “controversial”?
• How do you feel about police?
• What are your thoughts on the current college environment as it pertains to a future workforce?
• What does “faith” mean to you?
• You see someone stepping on an American flag. What happens next?

Many on social media support the test. One Facebook commenter wrote, “It’s about time to see a CEO not persuaded by political pressure! Great job!” while another posted, “I love the test. I would love to take it. I do not find it even remotely disturbing, but it definitely will expose a lot of SNOWFLAKES.”

Reyes himself is gratified by the response. “For the first time in a long time, people feel safe to once again talk about issues of integrity, faith, and love for our veterans, our first responders, and America,” he told LifeZette.

Some, of course, are shocked and upset by Reyes’ employment test. “Since I launched this ‘filtering’ process, if you will, I’ve gotten a tremendous amount of whining from the general public,” he noted in his article.

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“I was scolded by a woman on the phone yesterday who told me she wouldn’t take the test and ‘shame’ on me for making people take a test to come work for us. She ‘demanded’ I remove the test or risk losing out on ‘perfect employees’ like herself.”

Reyes’ classic response? Short and sweet. “Bummer. Well, snowflake, it’s back to the heaping pile of applications for me,” he wrote.

The future looks bright for Reyes, now that he has staked out his position on what type of employee he is interested in hiring. He told LifeZette, “As far as business goes? I’m just here to make marketing great again!”