My mother, Emily Nash, never turned her back on people in need.

She passed away in 2010, but every now and then I catch a glimpse of her in the mirror — through a fleeting expression of mine or in a gesture of my hands. I feel her when I wear her favorite gold cross. She was a devout Methodist, along with my father, a charter member of her church, where I’m still a member.

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When I was growing up, we lived on the corner of a big intersection in Louisville, Kentucky, and the main road had a wicked curve. Many times I’d find my mom tending to complete strangers who had rung our doorbell and needed assistance with directions or help after an accident. Mom always let everyone in, explaining with compassion, not naiveté, “I’m afraid it’ll be another Jesus.”

While I scolded her for this, fearing the worst, the truth is I wish I could be more like her.

Mostly she lives on in my life in so many things she taught me, among them:

1.) To be yourself: My father encouraged me to be my own person, but my mother took it to heart. Thin and glamorous, she was a professional model during much of my childhood. Yet Mom never asked me to cut my long hair, or to present myself in a more sophisticated style. She also never forced me to date certain “eligible” men, or to marry — and she didn’t hound me for grandchildren. She wanted me to live whatever life I wanted, for me to feel free to explore who I was, and still am. For this I am profoundly grateful.

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2.) To have empathy: Mom taught me early on not to judge people until I’d walked in their shoes. “Even then,” she said, “you don’t know what they’re going through. So it’s best not to judge at all.”

3.) To be kind. The epitome of a Southern lady, my mother was once described by a family friend as radiating such goodness that “surely she was the model Margaret Mitchell chose for Melanie Wilkes.” Once when I was about five, I made fun of a child with a facial disfigurement.

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My mother snatched me up. “Don’t do that, Alanna. You never know what’s going to happen to you before you leave this world.”

Mom and Me Profile Shot
The author, right, with her mom, Emily Nash, who died in 2010. “She told me I meant everything to her,” said Nash.

4.) To send thank-you notes. Even today, in the instant world of emails, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, it’s important to send a handwritten note, preferably on good stationery, when someone does something really nice for you. It conveys a depth of gratitude and of connection. Nothing says “thank you” like a handwritten note.

5.) To remember the Golden Rule: Whether tithing at her church, baking a pie for new neighbors, or simply treating others as she would wish to be treated, my mother taught me to be altruistic. The older I get, the more I see the value in this. In helping others — one feeds one’s own soul.

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6.) To be mindful of the company you keep: “If you lie down with dogs,” Mom said, “you get up with fleas.” It’s a well-worn admonition, but also a reminder to use good judgment in your relationships — and to never put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Alanna Nash, an award-winning journalist, is the author of seven books, including four on Elvis Presley. She won the CMA’s Media Achievement Award in 2004.