50 Hard-Won Life Lessons After 50 Years

A half-century on this planet marks an important milestone.

Navigating 50 years’ worth of everything — from tiny triumphs to dazzling defeats — may leave all of us with a few wrinkles, but it also leaves us with something else: a solid sprinkling of quiet wisdom.

Below are 50 lessons I’ve learned or, in some cases, am still learning. I hope these may be of benefit to others as they navigate their own paths on planet Earth.

1.) Treat your body with respect — and accept nothing less than that from others.

2.) Do the thing that scares you. Then do it again.

3.) Keep your eye on the prize, know what the prize really is, and be real about why you want it.

4.) Acknowledge defeat with grace.

5.) No-win situations exist. Avoid them when you can, accept the outcome when you can’t.

6.) Human beings have certain limitations. You are human.

7.) Finish what you start, especially when it’s hard.

8.) Cut ties only when it’s necessary — those situations should be rare.

9.) Healing takes time. Rushing it lengthens that time.

10.) Catch people doing something right, nice or commendable — and point it out. They’ll do their best to surpass it next time, and you’ll both be better off for it.

11.) Some people will use your failings against you. Those people aren’t worth your time.

12.) Ask for what you want. Bonus points for knowing whom to ask, when to ask and how to ask.

13.) Old habits die hard. Kill them if you can. If you can’t kill them, minimize their damage.

14.) Practice does not make perfect, nor is the pursuit of perfection wise. Practice can, however, lead to stunning results.

15.) When in doubt, close your mouth. This applies to speech and food.

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16.) The internet is forever. Act accordingly.

17.) Cultivate relationships with people with whom you disagree politically and spiritually.

18.) Cultivate relationships with people with whom you agree politically and spiritually.

19.) Nurture relationships with people you value. They are worth it, and so are you.

20.) Offer compliments and complaints only when they are sincere.

21.) If you think you might need therapy, you probably do. Get some.

22.) Recommendations of “professionals” are regularly flawed. Proceed accordingly.

23.) Learn something new as often as you are able.

24.) Be generous and cautious — at the same time.

25.) Pain is a cruel teacher, but an effective one. Don’t seek it out, but don’t eschew its lessons, either.

26.) Failing publicly is unpleasant. It’s also valuable — both for you and those who observe it.

27.) When someone’s behavior irritates you, take a long, hard look at yourself. You might just learn something.

28.) When you find yourself saying “someone should do something,” that’s a divine nudge telling you that “someone” is you.

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29.) Play to win. Understand that “winning” means different things in different situations.

30.) Play by the rules. If the rules are unfair, change them or don’t play.

31.) Be the person your mother believes you are.

32.) Be more eager to relate a positive interaction with an employee than a negative one.

33.) Do the thing you least want to do first.

34.) You don’t get a second chance at prevention — not with health, safety, or anything.

35.) Carry your own weight. If you can’t or didn’t, make sure to thank those who carried it for you.

36.) Be active in your community.

37.) Volunteering does as much or more for the volunteer as it does for the intended beneficiary.

38.) Change is hard. Almost everything worth doing is.

39.) You can’t love someone into changing.

40.) When a cherished loved one asks you to change, consider granting that request.

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41.) Trust your gut. “Intuition” has neurological underpinnings. Respect that even if you don’t understand it.

42.) Anger is an emotion with energy. Harness it and direct it properly.

43.) Feelings are not inherently “good” or “bad.” What you do with them, however, can be.

44.) Don’t discount the entire person based on a single thought or behavior.

45.) Family is forever — both family by blood and by choice. Choose carefully.

Forgiveness of others is a gift you give to yourself. It releases you from pain without releasing your tormentor from responsibility.

46.) Knowing when to stick it out or when to cut your losses is complex. You get better at it over time.

47.) Forgiveness of others is a gift you give to yourself. It releases you from pain without releasing your tormentor from responsibility.

48.) Don’t offer excuses for your decisions.

49.) Never include the word “but” in an apology. It negates everything that precedes it — and nothing that follows it matters.

50.) Success hinges on relentlessly sticking to pre-established priorities.

Michele Blood is a freelance writer based in Flemington, New Jersey.