The Joys (and Challenges) of Older Moms

The world’s oldest known wild bird, an albatross, recently gave birth to what the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service believes is her 40th chick. This is impressive, especially considering her age: an advanced 65 years old.

Across the species spectrum, human moms are trying to extend their fertile years, too. Thanks to scientific advances and the will of couples whose dearest hope is to be parents, many are now finding their “golden years” will include soccer practice, school lunches, and curfews.

A recent report from the CDC says that the average age of a mother’s first birth rose from 24.9 to 26.3 between the years 2000 and 2014. The CDC researchers attribute the rise in age to two main factors: a decrease in the number of women having their first baby before age 20, and an increase in the number of mothers giving birth for the first time when they’re over age 30.

There are other factors at work here, too; many women are pursuing professional goals before parenting. And science can now offer hope that a woman can wait longer and still end up with a baby at a time when she is more prepared to handle it physically, financially, and emotionally.

For some older moms, the challenges are gratefully handled.

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“Exhaustion!” an older mom named Carolyn Smith (not her real name) of Montana told LifeZette. “I have a lot of energy and my husband and I are in good shape. We exercise and eat well. Still, I am exhausted from being older and raising kids.”

Smith had her first child at 32, her second child at 41, and her third at 43. The first two children were planned pregnancies, and the third — now age 13 — was a wonderful surprise. “She’s our angel,” said Smith proudly.

“We were at a good place in our lives after the first child, and eventually she wanted a younger sibling, so we said, ‘OK, let’s try,’” said Smith. “We said, ‘It’s God’s will if it happens.’ And it did. Then, surprise! Our third came along after that. The Good Lord blessed us, for sure.”

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Carolyn Smith’s family also made a big move with the children, from the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas, where she had enjoyed a high-powered career, to the mountain air of the West. “Less is more,” she said. She now works part-time as she focuses on raising the kids, and her concerns are those that all older parents share.

“You know, when (the youngest) is 40, sometimes I think I might not even be alive anymore! I tell the older two, ‘You’ll all be adults — there’s a good chance you’ll have to be there when her babies are born,'” Smith said.

She has also been firm on the parents in her home taking on the parental responsibilities with each child.

“I come from a large family. I’m number 6 out of 10,” she said. “So when the kids were younger and we lived in Las Vegas, I had a nanny to help me. I remember feeling as a kid during my own childhood, ‘That’s not my job, raising these kids.’ I was cautious about burdening my own kids, although they were and are very helpful.”

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When an expectant mom is 35 or older, she’s categorized as being of “advanced maternal” age — and the risks to the pregnancy (and the mother) rise. That is, if conception happens at all.

“At ages 40 to 42, 85 percent of embryos that do reach day 5 or 6 [called blastocysts at this stage] are genetically abnormal,” said Dr. John Couvaras, a board-certified obstetrician, gynecologist, IVF specialist and reproductive endocrinologist in Phoenix, Arizona. “Abnormal embryos increase with advancing maternal age. So not only are the eggs older, but they also don’t perform.”

Couvaras recommends Pre-Implantation Genetic Testing (PGS) for his in-vitro patients.

“When an embryo has more than, or fewer than, the normal number of chromosomes, that’s a condition known as aneuploidy, and these embryos will fail to implant in the uterus or will result in a miscarriage,” he explained. “After a woman reaches age 35, the proportion of aneuploid embryos increases rapidly.”

Couvaras sees more anxiety than the calmness of age sometimes brings.

“I see a lot of women whose mindset is, ‘I’m older, I get it, I understand it’s a numbers game,'” he says. “They are hanging on to that hope of, ‘Are we going to get that one good-looking, normal blastocyst?'”

Hope springs eternal when it comes to babies, Dr. Couvaras said, and Carolyn Smith agreed. Faith springs eternal, too.

“When I start to question, I remember I am just the vessel for these wonderful kids — it’s all about God’s plan. That’s how we live.”