Do you ever stop to reflect on the words you just blurted out to the person you’re with — and what these words mean? Ever realize that these words are often the truest reflections of your hard-won personal wisdom, strong psychological health, and overall understanding of yourself, your strengths, your limits — and how you approach your daily life?
Here is the blunt truth. Women, in particular, have mastered the art of multitasking. We have careers, children, husbands, ex-husbands, pets, neighbors, relatives, volunteer work, church groups … the list goes on. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we say the most profound (and sometimes funny) statements — that reflect the realizations we’ve come to know and trust.
Here are a few examples — and if you’ve got your own and we’ve missed them, send them to us at [email protected]!
1.) “I don’t have the luxury…” The other day my assistant asked me a question about a recent conversation I’d had with one of my male friends. Without even looking at her, I matter-of-factly responded: “I don’t have the luxury of sharing my feelings.” I looked at her, a little shocked by my own words, and said, “Did you hear what I just said? It’s true, ridiculous and funny, all at the same time!”
The conversation with my male friend had gone on forever — and it was all about him. Then, at the end, he asked me how I was feeling. In truth, I was exhausted. I was done, finished, and with no energy left and nothing to say.
Related: The Five Fabulous Friends You Need for a Great Life
So my statement to him became compelling and funny to me after I’d uttered it. I’m way too busy to indulge in the luxury of talking about my stuff. Move on. Please, no psychological babble about how I need self-care. Heard it, got it, been there, done that — and I say that with love.
2.) “I choose not to worry about it anymore.” That’s what Mary Smith, a publishing executive in the New York City area, shared with me. (That’s not her real name; all names here are pseudonyms, to protect the innocent.) She had mentioned this philosophy to her son, a responsible young man who’s studying psychology in college; she was summing up her feelings about a career situation that had long bothered her but that she’d finally put behind her.
After she said that, her son replied, “Wow, Mom, that is really psychologically healthy of you.”
“Sometimes you just need to tell people this,” said one attorney.
She laughed at his spot-on analysis (as I had laughed at my own realization after talking with my assistant), and asked him why he said that. He replied, “Because you’re allowing yourself to succeed with the things you can worry about.” Wow — smart kid!
3.) “That’s not my problem,” said Lori Jones, a school administrator in New York City. She explained further, “I do my job. I’m very busy. I resolve issues and then I let them go.”
She continued, “I need balance in my life. I want to spend time with friends, work out, and be with my special guy. So there’s no room in my life to hold onto nonsense.” Ring a bell?
4.) “Suck it up and get things done,” advised Nancy Adams, a litigation attorney in the Fort Lauderdale area. “My entire team hears this from me.”
She added, “Sometimes you just need to tell people this.” In other words — quit whining. You can’t control everyone or everything. Just get going. Be productive.
5.) “I’m sorry, I was hungry,” said Christie Carter, owner of a Los Angeles yoga studio — noting this is often what people say after they’ve had a disagreement or misunderstanding with someone. This explanation for people’s less-than-optimal behavior is true, funny and sobering, all at once.
As someone who’s worked in fitness and wellness industry for over 20 years, I’ve often heard people say this as well. When there’s no food in the belly, people become irritated, and their lowered blood sugar can cause them to be irritated, intolerant and impatient with others when they normally aren’t. All those who skip breakfast in the morning before heading to work, take note.
6.) “Be yourself” is the advice that department store manager Sarah Lake of Boca Raton, Florida, shares with her kids — but there’s a “but” here. “But then I question myself as a wave of guilt comes over me because most people don’t act that way. Maybe I should start saying ‘Be your best.’ This parenting stuff is like playing chess with Bobby Fischer!”
7.) “I’m blessed to have many meaningful relationships in my life,” said Leena Fox, an ER nurse in Miami. That’s something we can all relate to and remind ourselves of, for optimal health and well-being — as well as this woman’s addition, especially when Friday rolls around: “The most coveted relationship of all is with my five o’clock martini.”
Based in Boynton Beach, Florida, Christine King is founder and CEO of Your Best Fit, a health and wellness company that provides fitness, nutrition, and design and management services for individuals, private clubs, luxury communities, and corporations.
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