“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” — Fred Rogers

I was 30 years old and happily married without children on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.

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My husband and I had moved out of New York City a few months before and he was commuting to his job at an ad agency in midtown Manhattan. As former New Yorkers, we’d only just bought a car — a used car for us to share — so I drove him to the bus stop that morning. (It was such a sunny morning!) Off he went with a busload of sleepy passengers to the city that never sleeps.

After the first plane hit the North Tower at 8:46 a.m., I called my husband and we speculated that maybe it was a sightseeing airplane and the pilot had a heart attack. His office was two miles north of the World Trade Center, so neither of us thought this would impact him.

We said good-bye and would not speak to each other again until much later that night — after a plane hit the Pentagon, after Flight 93 passengers stormed the cockpit and crashed the plane into a field in Pennsylvania, after both the Twin Towers fell, and after he had walked more than 40 blocks north to spend the night on the floor of his brother’s studio apartment.

The next morning, I prayed as I waited for news. Once the bridges and tunnels reopened, my husband was able to escape from New York. I thank God that he made it home that night, and pray fervently for those who still grieve lost loved ones.

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Our lives would never be the same. I imagine the majority of Americans share this sentiment.

My husband did not go back to work until the following Monday. I cried every day he left for weeks and weeks. 

Now what?

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For me — for us — this felt like a sign from God that it was time to get serious about living. Time to start a family. I wanted to bring people into the world and teach them to love, not hate.

Our first son was born 10 months later. Two more sons followed in the ensuing few years. By now we were living in Pennsylvania, and my husband had left his job for law school and a new career. But again we were left with the question, “Now what?”

How should we teach our children about the terrorist attacks? For us, the events of September 11, 2001, were never kept secret from our children. Engaging children in age-appropriate ways to learn, understand, and discuss difficult topics can be daunting. We were thankful to find some remarkable books to help us explain that day.

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For young children (ages 4 to 9) I highly recommend these two books:

1.) September Roses by Jeanette Winter is a children’s picture book about the true story of two sisters who had traveled to New York City from South Africa — along with thousands of roses they had intended to display at the city’s upcoming flower show. Stranded at the airport after all flights were cancelled, they were taken in by a kind stranger. The sisters decided to use their flowers to comfort New Yorkers. Union Square Park in Manhattan had been spontaneously transformed into a makeshift memorial in the hours and days after 9/11 and the sisters took their flowers there and arranged them on the ground in the shape of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. This book uses short sentences and simple illustration to convey the compassion of strangers in a time of universal grief.

2.) Fireboat: The Heroic Adventures of the John J. Harvey by Maira Kalman is another wonderful picture book that tells the true story of a retired fireboat that was “adopted” by a group of conservationists and restored. It had not been used to fight fires since 1995, but on September 11, 2001 the old boat was ready to help New York City once again. What I like best about this book is the focus on how ordinary people did extraordinary things to help others. A portion of the revenue from the sale of copies of this book are donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund.

For slightly older children (ages 8 to 12), I recommend:

1.) America is Under Attack: September 11, 2001: The Day the Towers Fell by Don Brown is a chronological account of the events as they unfolded on that sunny Tuesday morning. The story is told in a sensitive but straightforward way with stories and quotes from real people included. The colorful watercolor illustrations are often ethereal and always captivating without including graphic details.

My goal in sharing these books with my children was always to be honest about how the terrorist attacks happened, to lead to a discussion about why they happened — and to talk about what we should do about it.

Related: Grateful to Be Spared on 9/11

However, not all books about 9/11 are created equal. I strongly encourage parents to read any book before sharing it with their children. I have stumbled across some that were too graphic in nature for younger children (despite what the age recommendations indicated) — and some more recently released books aimed at teens and tweens that were clearly written with political goals in mind.

Stick to true stories. There are stories of sadness and loss, to be sure, but also stories of bravery, compassion, hope, resilience, ann unwavering faith in God in the face of such a horrifying display of naked hatred.

May all children be brought up to love instead of hate.

Jewels Green is a mother, writer, public speaker, and advocate for the right to life from conception to natural death. She lives in a suburb of Philadelphia.