Silently praying, silently thinking, silently understanding. While silence can have a sound, for it to be fruitful it needs to come more from the wisdom of God and others — and less from our own limited resources.
Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI reminds us, “We need to make space to hear God’s whisper, calling us forth into goodness.” God strongly prefers whispering over shouting, but we need to create and protect this sacred space, a place where the ears of our heart are not deafened with the frenetic noises of the world, anxieties, or ceaseless internal rumination.
“The sooner we forget ourselves, the sooner we can truly listen to God.”
The question is: Are you willing to listen?
I have come to know and admire two young professionals in Washington, D.C., Juan Manuel and Federico Segura. Both understand the intrinsic value of silence. Both young men are in their 20s, solid in their Catholic faith and in their professional careers — and I feel they give us great hope for the hidden potential of our overanalyzed millennial generation.
Juan Manuel believes silence with others starts with a desire to truly know, appreciate and love the other person.
“Many times a lack of silence manifests itself while we anxiously wait for the other person to finish so that we can finally commandeer the conversation,” he told me. “This built-up anxiety causes us not to listen, so that everything leading up to an interjection is subsequently inconsequential.”
“At other times a lack of silence can also communicate that we simply do not care about the other person and what he or she has to say. Under this particular paradigm, it is easy not to listen and instead drown the other person’s voice out as unfiltered noise. Admittedly it is difficult to keep silent and listen when you truly believe that you are right or if you are not ‘feeling’ that the current discussion is engaging or going anywhere particularly interesting,” he continued.
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“The only alternative we have to silence is a general disregard for the other person. A lack of silence is frankly a characteristic we should not be aspiring to: It inhibits our ability to grow in self-discipline and our ability to appreciate anyone we might come across. Silence, in other words, enables us to be fully present with others, to glean their pearls of wisdom and help them feel respected and appreciated as children of God,” Manuel finished.
Federico Segura believes the cornerstone of a strong relationship with God is silence.
“The sooner we forget ourselves and stop making the relationship about us, the sooner we can truly listen to God,” he said. “A key ingredient in my relationship with God is learning how to stop asking and start listening to Him. We can easily fall into the trap of only asking Him for things. Instead, it needs to be the other way around. We need to listen to His wisdom. When I clear my mind of whatever is pressing in my life, I can hear God whispering to me. He doesn’t shout to me.”
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He added: “He isn’t going to force His way in. That’s when I feel my relationship with Him is at its best, when I have that external and internal silence that allows Him in. Letting God in is extremely important. Quiet can work anywhere, but in my opinion, the best place to connect with Jesus is in His real presence, in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Silence allows us to forget about ourselves and our own needs. It enables us to listen. When we are open to letting Jesus in and listening to Him, that is when we can be in peace and discover His loving plan over our lives.”
All of this reminds me of a story from my own life. Two summers ago, while enjoying breakfast with my mom, she said to me, “How could anything, anything, be that hard if you love God?”
I was focused, I was in the moment — and God spoke so clearly to me through the words of my 90-year-old mom. These words continue to ring in my conscience every single day.
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Shortly before my ordination, during a month-long retreat in Rome, I heard Jesus tell me in prayer, “Michael, I know this is hard. I know you did not choose this path. But I called you to be my priest. I need your help. Can you please help me? You don’t have to continue — but I would be so grateful.”
These were two major nuggets, two special moments, in which God’s wisdom and love powerfully penetrated my soul. Only God calms the internal waves and placates the hard solitude of the human heart. Clear the clutter of your minds! Open wide the doors of your heart and mind to God and others.
Fr. Michael Sliney, LC, is a Catholic priest who is the New York chaplain of the Lumen Institute, an association of business and cultural leaders.
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