Captain Jack Makes A Boatload Off Amber Heard

She deserves it.

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If there was ever anything sure as rain it’s that Amber Heard is a b**tch. That girl is gone wild.

I had women mad at me beside but none of em ever crapped in my bed. If he was Willie Wonka she sure was the chocolate factory. So it’s good she lost and has to pay him millions of dollars. Maybe it makes other crazy women stop before they act all weird and say lies to everyone. Lawyer Greg jarett talks about what happened.

Jarrett: If ever there was a pyrrhic victory – a win that comes at enormous cost– this is it. Yes, Johnny Depp won all three of his defamation claims against Amber Heard, while she won only one. And quantitatively, he was awarded more money: $10 million to her $2 million.

But in the end, they both destroyed each other. They came across as miserable, insufferable, and vindictive people who hated each other so much that they decided to exploit the justice system to exact revenge.

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The trial inside a Virginia courtroom ended, blessedly, on Wednesday. The dual verdicts closed a ridiculous spectacle that endured for an agonizing seven weeks. The fact that the public could not get enough of this “pageant of horribles” is a sad commentary on America’s voyeuristic obsessions.

If either litigant thought that a trial would somehow restore their already-tattered reputations, they were mistaken. The brute ugliness of what spilled out in court further sullied them both.

We learned, for example, about excrement on their bed, vicious fights, temper tantrums fueled by drug and alcohol rages, a severed finger, photos of Depp passed out on the floor, video of him trashing furniture, both of them taunting each other, he calls her a “gold digger” and a “worthless hooker” while she accuses him of sexual assault with a bottle. This is truly vile stuff in a chronically toxic relationship. It made your average load of filthy laundry seem sparkling clean.

The worst moment for Depp came when his text message to a fellow actor was read aloud in court: “Let’s drown her! Let’s drown her before we burn her. F— her burnt corpse!” Lovely sentiment.

Equally despicable was a recording of Heard admitting that she hit Depp and deriding him as a “baby.” Perhaps their therapist put it best when she testified that there was “mutual abuse.” No kidding. There’s a slap my arse revelation.

The jury was not gullible enough to believe the lawyer for Heard who asserted during closing arguments that the First Amendment protects his client’s libelous op-ed in The Washington Post. It was a classic attorney subterfuge…

At times, it became an absurd battle of the experts. Heard’s psychologist claimed she suffers from PTSD because of Depp. His expert claimed Heard suffers from “borderline or histrionic personality disorders.” The most comical expert announced that Depp had “narcissistic personality disorder.” Really? Calling an actor narcissistic is redundant.

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