The New York City Republican Party’s war for electoral victory was over the day Rudy Giuliani left office. But you can’t blame the plucky kamikaze squadron that is the NYC GOP for trying.

So it must have been a slow news day at FNC when some editor gave this beast of a concept to a scribe and said, “See what you can do with it.” From failing to mention that Hank Sheinkopf is a brilliant and articulate Democrat consultant, to trying to put political lipstick on the pig that is Republican popularity in NYC, this FNC piece leaves a bit to be desired. That’s why we’re around, to make sense of the thing.

FNC: “Disillusioned by how Democrats handled 2020, some New York City residents are dumping the Democratic party and voting Republican. Dalton Blaine voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016 but flipped in last November because he felt liberal policies were threatening to destroy the city. According to a Fox News analysis of AP election results, President Trump gained nearly 200,000 votes from New York City residents in 2020 compared to 2016: a 4.6% boost. Democrats lost 3% of voters for Biden compared to Clinton’s count in 2016. The biggest shifts came from the Bronx, Queens and Brooklyn, which were the hardest hit by COVID. Blaine said he was also concerned about the growing influence of socialism across the city.” Yeah, one guy. This tweet is a better look at the party in Gotham.

“Just the deterioration of everything. Of small businesses. Of not really helping them at all,” explained Blaine. “This mentality that we’re just going to shut everything down and then just see where we are, like once we get a vaccine. It was a joke. A big issue for me has been the Democratic Socialists of America. They’ve been getting stronger and stronger for the past few years and I don’t really feel like moderates are standing up to them.” True. Except for one thing. NYC likes limousine socialism. Ergo…

“I remember seeing these self-righteous politicians going on TV, talking about how they want to defund the cops and, like, I can’t even take the train. I couldn’t let my girlfriend take the train,” Blaine said. “What happened last year made me look under the hood. I looked at all the achievements of the President. Of Trump… I was shocked. It wasn’t as bad as what they said it was.” No duh. Also meaningless in NYC because facts don’t matter there.

“Voters have seen firsthand the disastrous impacts that radical left policies have had on their wallets, their safety, and their quality of life,” NY state GOP Chairman Nick Langworthy said. “Twenty years of Republican mayors took the city from being the murder capital of the world to the safest big city in America and a magnet for jobs and tourism. Republicans saved New York once and they will do it again.” Nope, times have changed. Like California, it’s a goner.

“Republicans have a serious problem, and it’s called branding,” explained Democrat political ace Hank Sheinkopf. “When you have a problem with your brand, you’ve got to change the identity of the brand. Republicans in New York City tend to do well or do better, even get elected citywide when there is a crisis. We have a crisis in New York City now,” said Sheinkopf. “So something will happen. The question is what and how long before it happens?” With all due respect, something will happen. The GOP will do even worse.