Politics

Biden attempts to secure Latin vote in Florida, plays ‘Despacito’ on phone and awkwardly bobs his head

He's ranging into full blown out to lunch status.

Image Credit: Joe Biden / Harris

When I was a Latin kid in South Florida in the 1970s, Anglo pals would take me down to Little Havana to get Cuban food under a variation of the I fly/you buy rule. Since I was the only one who spoke even a modicum of Spanish, they paid for the food and I’d order for them, given at the really great Cuban hole in the wall restaurants nobody spoke English.

Well, the kind of thing I regularly did to them (encouraging them to try and order with the waitress after I told them horribly obscene or absurdist phrases in Spanish were the names of the menu items) is what somebody must have done to Joe Biden on Tuesday at a Latin outreach event in Florida. Either that or he’s reducing himself to drooling great-uncle status during the glaring spectacle of a presidential campaign.

After airhead Mexican and Puerto Rican celebs left the podium at the event, Biden got up. Then in a moment of cringe comedy worthy of the best episode of “The Office,” Biden says, “I just have one thing to say.” He followed that with, “Hang on here,” as he tried to manipulate his smart phone like an orangutan with a cheese slicer.

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After he figured out the idiot proof phone screen he held the phone up to the microphone. Then like a satisfied slow child who has figured out how to count to three, he began playing the 2017 song “Despacito” by singer Luis Fonsi, who had introduced him. After roughly 15 seconds of awkwardly bobbing his head and clumsily dancing behind the podium in a palsied approximation of a Latin beat, he paused the music and looked out into the audience as if he had just given mommy and daddy a dead squirrel as a present.

Oh, I’m making that up? There is no way that a sentient adult, much less a potential president of the United States, would publicly embarrass himself like that? Check it out.

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The poor devil. He’s so out of it that the entire campaign is close to elder abuse. Can somebody call a doctor? Just listen to his voice, watch the confused uncoordinated movements. This is not a well man and there is no way he takes a debate stage against Donald Trump. If he does it’s political suicide. Will Biden implode in public, perhaps taking out some paper dolls to play with in the middle of a major policy address? Is that the plan and thus Harris replaces him at the top of the ticket? Whatever is going on, Joe Biden is just getting curiouser and curiouser.

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Critics nailed the former VP over the “cringe” moment. “Oh my,” CBS News correspondent Ed O’Keefe reacted. That’s very liberal CBS talking. When a Democrat loses them the game is over.

“This is so unbelievably cringe,” tweeted Erielle Davidson, a senior policy analyst at the Jewish Institute for National Security of America. Biden also recently confused Iran and Iraq when referring to American military dead in a speech geared toward veterans, saying “U.S. troops died in Iran and Afghanistan.” The sad befuddled man doesn’t know the difference on that or on much else these days. Yup, elder abuse.

David Kamioner
meet the author

David Kamioner is a veteran of U.S. Army Intelligence and an honors graduate of the University of Maryland's European Division. He also served with the Pershing Nuclear Brigade and the First Infantry Division. Subsequent to that he worked for two decades as a political consultant, was part of the American Red Cross Hurricane Katrina disaster relief effort in Louisiana, ran a homeless shelter for veterans in Philadelphia, and taught as a college instructor. He serves as a Contributing Editor for LifeZette.

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