Remember when your mom or dad, probably your mom, did something that made you want to change your name and move to Fiji?

Yeah, this.

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Memphis parents at Treadwell Middle and Elementary School have decided not to rely on public health authorities and have taken action themselves after they found out a school employee had come in contact with a person who had tested positive for coronavirus.

I mean, wow.

Of course, the young men at the school are now thrilled with the fact that any girl they like will presently fall madly in love with them, given the common knowledge that middle school girls are intrinsically attracted to the fresh scent of Lysol.

And the kid at the end?

When he gets out of school today he can safely take his pals on a joyride through Chernobyl.

At last report, parents at Treadwell were considering encasing their kids in bubblewrap and locking them in a cloistered convent until the virus passes.

The nuns were not available for comment.