‘I Had Refused to Entrust My Life to God — That’s Why I Wandered’

The author says she knew the Almighty had 'won the big battles,' but when she finally allowed Him to work miracles in her own life, she saw the light

Did the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years because they were lost — or because they turned down their ticket to the promised land?

How many of us are also in the wilderness when we could be walking in the promised land?

It’s easy for us to judge the Israelites — who refused to trust God even after He parted the Red Sea and fed them with manna and quail.

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When they were on the verge of entering the promised land, they saw the giants and said, “The people are greater and taller than we. The cities are great and fortified up to heaven” (Deuteronomy 1:28).

Yikes — run. That’s too big a problem for the same God who conquered the entire Egyptian army!

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Moses even reminded the people of God’s powerful track record: “Do not be in dread or afraid of them. The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place” (vs. 29-32).

But they chose not to trust God — and not one doubter entered the promised land.

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They spent the rest of their lives wandering in the desert.

I’ve been there. It’s horrible.

Failing to entrust my life to God sent me wandering in the dry, bitter wilderness of dissatisfaction for over 20 years.

I was just like the Israelites because I knew God had won the big battles, such as conquering death and hell — but I had refused to entrust my life to Him.

I knew He performed a million miracles every day, even down to my heart beating within my body — but I failed to allow Him to work the miracle of transforming my heart.

God was merciful and patient.

While on my life’s journey, in God’s presence, I experience a taste of the promised land.

His goodness drew my heart out of the desert. As it did, I began to pursue Him and His will for my life as my greatest passion.

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His goodness transformed my heart and enabled me to trust Him. Now, I trust Him. Now, I “enter into His rest” (Hebrews 3:11).

While on my life’s journey, in God’s presence, I experience a taste of the promised land.

In the words of the Psalmist: “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord” (Psalms‬ ‭27:13-14‬).

meet the author

Kimberly Faith is an attorney, author, and recording artist. She is the owner of Faith Strong, where all her music and inspirational content is online for free. She is the mother of three children. Learn more at

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