Farmers’ Almanac Predicts ‘Polar Coaster’ for Much of Our Country This Winter

It seems crazy, right?

It’s the end of August. You might still be on a beach somewhere with the family.

Or you might be jogging. Or walking. Or gardening. Or camping. Or swimming.

Or sitting outside sipping drinks with friends in the late afternoon or early evening.

Or planning your Labor Day weekend activities.

Or working — and gazing out the window at a gorgeous late-summer day every chance you get.

Either way, you’re not thinking about breaking out that winter parka or shovel any time soon.

But now comes bracing new predictions from the venerable Farmers’ Almanac, which has published its weather forecasts continuously since, oh, the year 1818.

Here’s its tough truth. The extended forecast from the 2020 Farmers’ Almanac includes “bitterly cold winter conditions” that will occur in areas east of the Rockies all the way to the Appalachians — with the coldest outbreak of the season arriving the last week of January and lasting through the beginning of February.

“Our extended forecast is calling for yet another freezing, frigid, and frosty winter for two-thirds of the country,” editor Peter Geiger said in a statement on the company’s website.

The Farmers’ Almanac said this coming winter will be “filled with so many ups and downs on the thermometer, it may remind you of a ‘Polar Coaster.'”

So what specifics are we talking about?

Here goes:

• free-falling, frigid temperatures from the northern Plains into the Great Lakes
• colder-than-normal temperatures for big cities in the Northeast
• above-normal winter precipitation for the eastern third of the U.S.

“Only the western third of the country will see near-normal winter temperatures, which means fewer shivers for them,” the publication pointed out.

“With colder-than-normal temperatures in the Northeast and above-normal precipitation expected, our outlook forewarns of not only a good amount of snow, but also a wintry mix of rain, sleet — especially along the coast,” according to the Almanac.

The publication also predicts that the year 2020 will kick off in the eastern half of the country with “copious amounts” of snow, rain, sleet and ice. These conditions — along with “strong and gusty winds” — are likely to occur in the time frame between January 4 to January  7, as well as January 12 to January 15, says the publication.

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“And for those who live northeast of the Texas Panhandle to the western Great Lakes, watch out for what could prove to be a memorable storm producing hefty snows for the Great Plains during the third week of January,” the publication also notes.

The Pacific Northwest and Southwest are expected to be chilly but have near-normal precipitation, as Fox News pointed out in a piece about the Farmers’ Almanac’s predictions.

“It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be gray, and it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.”

The active winter will cause a slow beginning to next spring — as the colder temperatures will linger across the Midwest, Great Lakes, Northeast, and New England, the publication also predicted.

The Farmers’ Almanac says it bases its long-range forecast “on a mathematical and astronomical formula developed in 1818.”

In case none of the above really registered just yet, here it is straight from the Farmers’ mouth: “The Farmers’ Almanac, which provides 16 months of weather forecasts for 7 zones in one compact book, is predicting that the worst of  the bitterly cold winter conditions will affect areas east of the Rockies all the way to the Appalachians.”

As LifeZette noted in a previous piece about winter weather predictions, “The predictions are as bad as weatherman Phil Connor’s forecast in ‘Groundhog Day’: ‘You want a prediction about the weather? I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be gray, and it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.'” (Bill Murray played that character in the well-loved 1993 comedy.)

So — it’s August 27, 2019 right now.

How about some beach volleyball?