Just think of it. Father’s Day is that one special day of the year that we go out of our way to salute, spoil, and slobber all over the special dads in our lives.

That’s because, in addition to teaching kids how to tie their shoelaces, ride a bicycle, throw a ball and (maybe even) change a tire, dads teach kids the importance of waiting until the very last minute to buy their moms something for Mother’s Day, Christmas, or even her birthday — and then come up with the most creative of explanations for why it’s worth getting her a hammer, spackle, and work gloves (dads are famous for losing track of time at home improvement stores).

“I know you want to put up shiplap, so this will give us quality time together!” say dads with feeling.

They’re good at this.

If you’ve not yet purchased your Father’s Day gift this year, expect to experience a few crowds and “out of stock online” notices. The National Retail Federation (NRF) projects that Father’s Day spending will reach a near-record $15.3 billion this year, second only to last year’s $15.5 billion.

And if you’re wise, here are a few things not to run out and get dear old dad.

Scroll through the gallery below for some all too real — and gobsmackingly awful — Father’s Day gift ideas.