Many people recognize this scenario: A volunteer is technically part of your organization, but he or she isn’t showing up, isn’t pulling his or her weight. That volunteer may have good intentions but might be suffering from simple burnout.

Yet it’s not always as simple as that.

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Kimberly Jones (not her real name) is a 36-year-old working mother from Nebraska who serves on the board of a local nonprofit. She and a fellow volunteer know that if anything is to get done for the cause they both feel passionate about, they’re the ones to move important projects forward.

Still, Jones struggles to be effective. Between raising kids and working multiple jobs, she’s missed seven of the last nine monthly meetings, along with committee assignments. It’s understandable — she has a lot on her plate.

But given her promised commitment to the group, she faces a tough choice: Fully commit again and stretch herself even thinner, or step down completely.

Jones isn’t willing to do either — so resentment builds, both for her and on the part of others involved.

“There’s certainly pressure on many young moms to be able to do it all,” Alicia Taverner, a licensed marriage and family counselor and owner of Rancho Counseling in Temecula, California, told LifeZette. “Especially if they are getting their worth from their ‘performance.’ Unfortunately, this often leads to burnout, where all major areas in their life suffer.”

Taverner said the pressure to have it all and do it all is leading an increasing number of women, especially, to overcommit themselves and then burn out.

“I see this in my practice — mothers comparing themselves to others and trying to keep up,” she said, adding that social media play a role in the pressure to be the “perfect” wife, mother, and community member.

“What we see [online] is women’s best, through their photos and videos — what they choose to show on their social media accounts. What they [women who view the photos online] seem to forget is they aren’t seeing the stress and difficulties these others may be going through as well.”

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Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist and marriage counselor in Boulder, Colorado, said there’s “certainly pressure on many young moms to do it all,” especially if they’re working mothers whose spouses expect them to do the bulk of the housework and the child care, too.

As stress goes up, so do mental and physical problems such as depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue syndrome, and increased illnesses, he said.

“Technology was going to make our lives easier and less busy, but it’s done the opposite, as work/life boundaries have been stretched and, in some cases, erased altogether,” noted Fisher.

To avoid problems in marriages, friendships, jobs, and health, Fischer recommends the following.

1.) Address your own self-care first. What fills you up, and how much are you prioritizing those activities? You can’t fill a cup from an empty pitcher.

2.) Construct an ideal day. Be realistic about the most important things in your life and the time each takes to do or address. Do those first, then figure how much time you have left (if any) to commit to other opportunities.

3.) Each time you say “yes” to something, decide what you will say “no” to in your life to make adequate room.

Related: Kids Need More One-on-One Time with Mom

For those who coordinate a volunteer staff, the burnout signs to watch for among other volunteers are complaints it’s no longer fun to work there; a rise in the amount of worry expressed by volunteers; chronic crankiness; combativeness with others; and overreaction to minor problems. “You may also notice a volunteer’s work performance slipping,” notes VolunteerToday.com. “Perhaps the volunteer is not completing assignments, is missing deadlines, or just isn’t showing up.”

And remember to have fun in your own service role.

“The volunteering I’ve really enjoyed has been tied to a passion — and when I hadn’t taken on too many things,” said one Boston-area wife and mother of three grown sons. “For example, I taught Sunday school for many years and loved it. It was meaningful. I loved being with kids. On the other hand, I’ve had volunteer roles that left me resentful because I either served for too long, or it wasn’t a great fit. Try to volunteer in a way that is personally meaningful. It will be better in the long run.”

Carly Wilson is a freelance writer and photographer from South Dakota.