As a kid growing up in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, I really struggled with and feared public speaking, and I would dread those days when I had to read aloud in class or make a presentation. What most bothers me today about this childhood crutch is the amount of time and energy I wasted worrying about it.
Having been a spiritual director for adults for close to 20 years, I’ve noticed a recurring theme seems to be the same obsession with either what happened in the past — or what could happen in the future. Thoughts can either suck life out of us or pump energy into us — and the outcome depends on our mental discipline and the desire to fight this inner battle.
One secret I’ve tried to cultivate in my golf game is to focus on the shot in front of me — one swing at a time. There may be a tough hole around the corner, and maybe I just double-bogeyed the last hole, but what really matters is the shot in front of me now. Daily prayer is so helpful in keeping this focus on the present moment.
A business leader in Washington, D.C., shared with me a hard truth he discovered through the heartbreaking words of his 10-year old son. He was with his family on vacation on the beach, and after two days, his son asked him, “Dad, when are you going to join us on vacation?”
The dad was surprised and said, “Son, I’ve been with you here these past few days!”
The boy responded, “Yeah, you’ve been here, but it seems your mind is on something else.”
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The dad admitted to me he was worried about a work issue — and this affected not only his mental state but his ability to connect with, and pay attention to, his young son.
Other parents spend so much time on their smartphones, even with their young children sitting or standing right in front of them, that they’re not only missing things — they’re ignoring the precious loved ones who want and need the benefit of their focus, care and love.
St. Paul reminds us to “captivate your thoughts and put them in obedience to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Our time on earth is a gift, a huge gift that is very limited within a determined end point that only God knows.
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Don’t get stuck on problems of the past, and don’t fret about the future. Allow your wounds to heal — and trust that God will get you through whatever lies ahead in the future.
Most importantly, don’t be so preoccupied that you’re incapable of listening to the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit, who wants to love so many people through you, right here and right now.
Fr. Michael Sliney, LC, is a Catholic priest and the New York chaplain of the Lumen Institute, an association of business and cultural leaders.
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