Playboy Magazine really does have articles! That fact has been brought to light by the press-briefing antics of Playboy reporter (yep, that’s a real thing!) Brian Karem. Whether those articles exist to inform or to be shown to the wives of subscribers in a desperate attempt to justify their subscriptions is still up for debate. Last Tuesday, Karem hauled his soapbox into the daily press briefings and attacked deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders for saying things he didn’t like hearing.
Vox called him “heroic,” and other liberal media outlets and left-wing pundits have tossed rhetorical confetti on him, because in the backward world of #fakenews, demanding the silence of anyone who criticizes you is the heroic act of a First amendment martyr.
Now, Karem, whose journalism can most often be found hidden beneath the mattresses of teenagers, has penned what he believes to be a defense of the First amendment but is actually a whiny, narcissistic diatribe about how others should adjust their speech and behavior to his liking.
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It’s clear from Karem’s opinion piece on Playboy.com that if the Constitution featured a treat-Brian-Karem-with-the-utmost-respect-and-deference clause, the Trump administration would be in direct and purposeful violation of it. That case is open and shut: First, they kept him waiting as if he were any ordinary member of the press pool and not Brian Karem. “But please, as my Southern parents taught me,” Karem writes, “if you commit to be somewhere on time — then do it. This administration rarely does.”
Perhaps this is the sort of outrageous behavior Ted Cruz was referring to when he accused President Trump of having “New York values.” It’s true that the Trump administration has an entire country to protect and serve, but how hard is it to put the whole operation on pause to appease Brian Karem and his southern parents’ unwavering commitment to the punctuality of others?
Next, they let Breitbart ask a question! Breitbart! Good grief, they should make way for truly respected media outlets. Like, you know, Playboy. Sure, while I was reading Karem’s article a pop-up ad invited me to sign up for a membership and start my “journey down the rabbit hole.” Sure, it’s the only news source whose readers have to clear their search history so nobody discovers they’ve been ogling the latest news and opinion.
Finally, the Trump administration had the audacity to defend itself against inaccurate attacks. “We got to hear again how the media is at fault,” Karem complains in a tone of utter exasperation, “there is a lot of fake media out there, and Sanders urged us all to look at some video — that she admittedly had no idea whether it was true — but if it was, then oh boy, we should see it. Six months of being bullied by this administration, being told we are the enemy of the people and how the administration supports the First amendment — just not the people who practice it — and I’d had enough.”
Cue a slow clap for Brian Karem. Who the heck does this Sarah Huckabee Sanders think she is? Where does she get off trying to defend the administration? Where does she get off thinking the administration’s preferred narrative is better than Brian Karem’s?
Unfortunately for Karem, the Constitution contains no clause that protects him from any of this. In fact, the Constitution is mum on how Brian Karem should be treated, so we are left to infer it from the First amendment clause that reads, “Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom… of the press.” (go to page 2 to continue reading)[lz_pagination]