Former ‘Bachelorette’ Star on Racy ‘Bachelor’: ‘That’s Not What Love Is’
Ali Fedotowsky has moved on from her controversial TV days to marriage, motherhood — and a meaningful life
Ali Fedotowsky may have found fame while seeking romance on television with the help of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” but the 32-year-old lifestyle blogger is now enjoying a much simpler life as a wife, mother to a 9-month-old daughter, and spokeswoman for The American Egg Board.
However, that hasn’t stopped her from keeping tabs on the hit reality TV shows — and she’s not loving what she’s seeing:
Question from Fox News: Do you think participating in “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” influenced the way you dated afterwards?
Answer from Fedotowsky: Yes, because the one thing I learned from the shows is that you need to trust your gut. When it comes to dating, if something feels a little off, then it probably means something is wrong. I stopped wasting time in relationships that weren’t good because I knew it was pointless. Before I would stay in relationships for years that were wrong, but somehow I was so determined to make it work. I realized after “The Bachelorette” that if something’s not working, move on.
Q: You mentioned in a previous interview that this recent season featuring Nick Viall had too much sexuality.
A: I think it’s unfortunate because I felt some of the girls thought they had to show their bodies and be overly sexual in order to win the affections of a man. And I just think that it’s a really sad thing. I was never angry at any of the girls for doing it. If anything, I wished they knew they were better than that. I wished they knew that you can be loved for being smart, for being a good person, and just for being yourself — not because you have boobs or you wear size-2 jeans. That’s not what love is. Love is not having to prove your sexuality. It’s so much more than that.
Q: Was there a specific moment that made you feel “The Bachelor” took things too far?
A: I don’t think there was a scene in particular. I just think there was so much of it as time went on in the season … It was a lot of taking tops off … and if that’s the way you won a man’s attention, that’s not the man you’ll want to be with.
Q: Why do you think there was so much sex in this season?
A: I think it’s because Nick was the one known for sleeping with some of the girls. We know so much about Nick’s sex life, which I think is so weird. But I do think some of the girls felt they needed to play up the sex thing … but look, Vanessa, the girl he ended up with never flaunted her sexuality. If anything, she showed up with her personality, her brains. She’s the one he chose in the end. What does that tell you? That’s what wins a man. Being a strong, independent, smart woman. Not taking your clothes off.
Q: How did you avoid temptation?
A: I worked [at] Facebook in Silicon Valley. And in Silicon Valley, intelligence is way valued over physical appearance. And I think I really came to appreciate and love that. So when I went to “The Bachelor,” I came with that mentality of, “I don’t really feel comfortable in a bikini, and I don’t look like this girl who’s a size 2, but I’m smart and can hold a conversation.” That’s what carried me through.
Q: Do you still stay in touch with Roberto Martinez?
A: No, I don’t. I mean, I think it [would] be kind of weird to stay in contact with your ex-fiancé, right? But I wish him all the best. He’s a great guy, and whoever ends up with him will be a very lucky girl.
Q: How has your life changed since you became a wife and mom?
A: Gosh, well, my life has changed a ton! You can’t be selfish anymore. Everything is about your child … But I think there are times when it’s important to get a babysitter and make an evening that’s just for you and your husband … but really, everything is about [my daughter] Molly. I love being a mom. She’s still not sleeping through the night, she’ll wake up three to five times a night, which is hard. But overall, she has made life better and sweeter.
Q: When did you realize that your husband was The One?
A: Right away. I mean, as soon as we started dating, everything was easy. Life is hard, but if you’re with the right person, it just becomes a little easier. If the person is making life harder for you, then they’re definitely not the one for you. And that was the case with my past relationships. I found myself having heartache … With Kevin [Manno], I would never question what he’s doing. He just made life easier for me.
This article originally appeared in Fox News and is used with permission.