In the “Saturday Night Live” number about last month’s holiday, squabbles among extended family were easily resolved by playing Adele during the holiday meal.

If you’re thinking about buying her album “25” and trying it — and who wouldn’t? — it doesn’t work in reality. We’ve already experimented. So, alas.

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But Christmas is now upon us. With a few long days of weathering extended-family visits in the week ahead while streets are icy and there’s no way out, how do you maintain your sanity amid the onslaught of loved ones you’re enduring — um, enjoying?

It’s one thing if you share similar political and religious beliefs. That relative cakewalk requires only a glass or two of wine and the occasional brisk walk around to cool off after Aunt Betsy remarks, once again, that you don’t yet have children or maybe grandchildren. But in these dangerous, pre-inauguration times, it’s another thing entirely if Aunt Betsy is a Democratic-socialist and you are a Tea Party member — and you’re sharing a bathroom over the weekend.

Benjamin Franklin foresaw such a dilemma when he wrote, “Fish and company smell after three days.” In this stupid new world of microaggressions, safe spaces, snowflakes and rage against the Electoral College, that stench seems truer now than when he penned it.

Be understanding. Liberals’ anger and crestfallenness are still fresh.

For those of us tasked with hosting or visiting “unequally yoked” family members whom we may or may not know well, what’s safe to discuss? What’s off limits? And what to do for … fun? It’s so hard to know, but here are some strategies depending on your situation.

Scenario 1: Your loved ones voted for Bernie or, more traumatically, Hillary.
It’s important to recognize the stages of grief these people are experiencing.

Since Election Day, there’s been plenty of denial. But now that the Electoral College has done its job well, there’s lots of righteous indignation, too. Be understanding. Liberals’ anger and crestfallenness are still fresh.

During the bargaining stage, they might have protested at their state capital. Be sure not to point out the utter hypocrisy of their actions. Do not, for example, explain when they cry foul over Donald Trump skipping security briefings that you did not whine and beat the air when Obama did exactly same thing, and more frequently, during the course of his entire presidency.

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And whatever you do, do not mention the fact that Hillary lost not once, not twice, but three times counting 2008, losing to Trump in November, and losing electoral votes to Bernie and Trump on the 19th. Hillary’s awfulness has probably created a sucking vortex over Chappaqua, New York. But don’t tell your cousin Bob, who voted for her. Consider his existential suffering and offer Play-Doh in the den for when depression hits. Acceptance will not come for another four to eight years, so buy stock in Hasbro while you’re at it.

Feed the dog beans prior to any get-together. Invite Fido in wherever angry familial discourse exists.

Scenario 2: Your loved ones are hipsters.
Perhaps your loved ones rock organic flannel, chukkas, man buns and useless eyewear. Maybe they build gingerbread houses in their tiny homes and bask in what they feel is irony.

Hipsters are angry because Trump will “kill us all and destroy the environment.” The solution to holiday dissent is simple, however. Feed the dog beans prior to any get-together. Invite Fido in wherever angry familial discourse begins to bubble. He will clear the room, and perhaps the house, fast. That silly argument Cousin Bentley started with Cousin Buck about Putin owning Trump will disappear once finding fresh oxygen becomes more important.

For a less odiferous but equally effective approach, play any one of the board games requiring a mouthpiece. First, everyone will look and sound ridiculous wearing dental gear, eliminating anger. Second, no one will be able to understand a single word of the conversation. Use the gift of unintelligibility before pocket knives are drawn and IPAs spilled.

Scenario 3: Your loved ones differ in seasonal greetings or religions.
Whether you celebrate Festivus or Saturnalia, Christmas, Chanukah or Kwanzaa, just grow up already. Heck, even if your grandchild attends the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, correcting people — and resenting people — depending on the holiday greeting they use isn’t helping a thing.

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Say what is comfortable for you, graciously accept what is comfortable for others, and get a life. President-Elect Trump set a precedent by saying Merry Christmas. Following suit couldn’t hurt.

Scenario 4: You simply don’t like them and want to shut their traps.
Have a can of Reddi-Whip at the ready and aim it toward the mouth of anyone who begins to cross a political, religious or cultural line in conversation. Hover over especially problematic family members. Fire when appropriate. Though Cheez Whiz offers a longer trajectory, Reddi-Whip is messier fun.

Feigning illness and escaping the room is just as helpful in avoiding any manner of unpleasant people. Also, when possible and desired, simply stay at a hotel, even if everyone else is at your house.

Good luck, and Merry Christmas!