Americans today are angry. We see evidence of this everywhere: Some civilians say they hate cops. People incite riots. Kids get bullied — even shot and killed.

Whatever happened to the civility and tolerance for each other we once had as a nation?

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For some, the answer is easy. The middle class is dying. Trade is killing U.S. jobs. Regular people just don’t have a chance to get ahead anymore. People who feel wronged or exploited in some way or another feel the need to express their message.

Anger is a healthy and often justifiable emotion, said psychologist Peter Sacco, author of “What’s Your Anger Type?”

“Anger is one of the basic emotions discussed by several psychology theorists,” Sacco told LifeZette. “An emotion is not bad at all — it is the potential behavior that accompanies it that can be bad. Emotions are healthy and should be experienced.”

Feelings of entitlement have coincided with a pattern of instant gratification. People want things now. 

He added, “The issue around anger is people tend to displace their anger outward and it can escalate into violence and destructive behavior.”

Many people these days aren’t keeping their anger in check — and it’s starting to affect our children. Most kids have occasional tantrums or meltdowns; they’ll lash out if they’re frustrated or become defiant if they’re asked to do something they don’t want to do, Sacco said. But when kids do these things repeatedly or can’t control their tempers a lot of the time, it may be more than typical behavior. And that anger has got to stop — for the health and wellness of our families and the future of our country.

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Sacco shared more thoughts with LifeZette in an interview.

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Question: Are kids today angrier than in previous generations?
Answer: It seems that kids are angrier today, and it stems from frustration that appears to have come from a generation of entitlement. This entitlement has coincided with instant gratification and a fast-food society where people want things now. When this doesn’t happen, and kids do not get what they want, they get upset more easily as they do not have the skills to handle rejection, frustration, and disappointment.

Q: Where is this anger coming from?
A: If kids witness their parents displaying aggression when they are angry, they are likely to copy them. If parents display passive aggression or passive anger, they will learn to express anger this way … Some people were brought up in extremely violent, angry, abusive environments as children and that was all they ever knew. No one stepped in and helped them modify their thoughts and feelings. They became complacent and conditioned to their own angry, negative thinking scripts. We are all like actors. We feed our subconscious minds scripts — good ones or bad ones. In this case, these individuals cultivated destructive, bitter, vengeful scripts.

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Q: What happens to children’s mind and body when they get angry?
A: When children get angry, they may feel a lack of control. Remember, kids are still young and more likely to act or react without processing information rationally — unfortunately, too many adults behave this way, too. And many do not have the concrete or abstract logic to override emotion with sensible thought processes that will lead to more appropriate behavior.

With that said, some kids may feel vulnerable when they are angry and just react. Others may feel more powerful from the adrenaline rush from their anger and use it to act aggressively.

Q: What does it mean to have addictive or destructive anger?

Ignoring anger or aggression issues in kids and hoping they will go away on their own is neglecting the problem.

A: Anger can be very destructive if you use it in a destructive manner. From my own experiences, I have seen people use anger in the worst possible ways to hurt others as well as themselves. People have killed others in fits of rage. They have broken their own hands or feet by punching or kicking walls. I have also seen the flip side where it is used constructively. Anger became a call to action. Passive, more timid people who normally would sit back and watch bad things happen to themselves or others would finally start to act and master their worlds.

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Q: What can parents do to make sure their children’s anger doesn’t become addictive and destructive?
A: First, parents have to identify [that] their kids have an anger problem. Behaving the same destructive way and expecting different, positive results is just insane. Once you identify your kid’s anger problem, it’s good to know what type of anger that they have and what led them to that point.

Once you identify and accept it, it’s time to recreate new ways for acting, reacting, and coping.

Q: How can parents ensure that kids are dealing with their anger properly?
A: Communication is key. Parents need to communicate with their kids — not only speaking, but also listening to what their kids are saying. Ignoring anger or aggression issues in kids and hoping they will go away on their own is neglecting the problem. I will point out — if parents have anger issues, they may first have to admit they have a problem and that they may be exacerbating anger issues in their children.