All-night parties! Three hundred rounds of golf! Hawaii vacations! African safaris! And always, summer on the Vineyard! Truly the 1 Percent life.

Sure, President Barack and Michelle Obama are the champions of the 99 percent. But that doesn’t mean they are bother living like the 99 percent.

The Obamas have spent the past eight years in the White House helping themselves to one type of self-indulgence after another.

No, nothing like it. As Donald Trump would say, that’s for losers! If Americans are having trouble affording bread in the Obama economy, let them eat cake! Michelle Obama advises gluten-free.

The Obamas have spent the past eight years in the White House helping themselves to one type of self-indulgence after another. Were they Republicans, the press would be carrying on about the entitlements assumed by wealthy GOP elitists. And much of the cost was paid for by taxes confiscated from the 99 percent — at least to the extent the 99 percent are still paying taxes, as Obama signs up as many as possible for welfare and disability.

The Obamas over the past week held nothing back, celebrating the president’s 55th birthday which, fortunately for Obama, fell on a weekday, so he could spend both the weekend before and the one after celebrating.

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On Saturday, July 31, Obama went golfing — his 299th round as president — with three buddies from his childhood. He then choppered out to Camp David with his golf partners and a few other friends for a night of partying. He returned Sunday with that post-party look, “wearing khakis, a long-sleeved blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and shades,” the White House pool reporter noted. “A few moments later, several unidentified gentlemen emerged from Marine One, a few of them holding large round wooden objects that resembled thick frisbees.”

Whatever.

But that was just the warmup for the following Friday. Obama had no public schedule that day so he could rest up for the evening’s festivities.

By nightfall, the Obamas were partying away with Beyoncé and Jay Z, John Legend, Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia DiRossi, Magic Johnson, Star Wars creator George Lucas, and actress Sarah Jessica Parker — not to mention former adviser David Axelrod and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel. Usher, Kendrick Lamar, Stevie Wonder, Jennifer Hudson, and Alonzo Mourning were also said to be on the guest list.

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The White House did its best to keep a lid on things, refusing to release a guest list. And then Saturday morning, the president and his family jetted to Martha’s Vineyard for 16 days of golf and dining at overpriced restaurants. The locals hate him — he is a “renter,” after all, even if he does drop tens of thousands of dollars a week — but they tolerate him because it’s the president.

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It wasn’t the first time the Obamas had turned the White House into an all-night bacchanal with guests swinging from the chandeliers of the East Room. But the parties are just a small part of the fun they’ve had.

Take the Christmastime excursions to Oahu. Oh, you say, but the president is from Hawaii! He must go home to recuperate! What is Obama, exactly? Some kind of salmon who must swim back to the pond of his birth to spawn? There is no good reason the Obamas must spend the two most miserable weeks of winter in America’s tropical paradise — other than that it’s an absolutely fantastic place to be.

The problem here is that, by vacationing there every year they were in the White House, the Obamas burned through tens of million of your tax dollars to pay for it. At around $200,000 an hour to fly Air Force One, the round-trip 18-hour flight costs about $3.6 million. And that doesn’t include the cargo plane that lugs his motorcade and other essentials out there and other, smaller Air Force planes that make the trip as well. And the 100-plus staffers don’t slum it — five-star hotels all around! If the Obamas needed to warm themselves up in the winter, pre-Zika Florida could easily have sufficed at a fraction of the cost.

In December 2012, Obama added insult to injury by flying Air Force One all the way back to Washington from Hawaii to complete some budget negotiations, and then, just after New Year’s, flew back to Hawaii to complete his vacation. In January 2014, Michelle Obama stayed in Hawaii after her husband departed so she could finish up a 24-day vacation at Oprah Winfrey’s fabulous spread on Maui. She then returned, at extra expense to you, on a separate Air Force jet.

Michelle Obama has made a specialty of bolting out of Washington on annual excursions with her family — her mother, the kids, even the cousins are usually in tow.

Michelle Obama has made a specialty of bolting out of Washington on annual excursions with her family — her mother, the kids, and even the cousins are usually in tow — to far-flung corners of the globe. The president stays home. The trips usually have some “official” cover, like promoting education for girls or something else these countries apparently can’t do without Michelle Obama’s help.

In 2011, the Obama caravan made its way to southern Africa, where Michelle Obama sat down for what she described as a “surreal” meeting with Nelson Mandela and went on safari. The trip cost at least half a million dollars.

During a second trip to Africa in 2013, accompanied by the president, appearances finally got the better of her and a second safari was scheduled and then nixed.

In 2010, she carted a group of friends over to Spain, where she spent four nights at the incomparable Hotel Villa Padierna in Marbella and dined with the Spanish king and queen.

Last year, she jetted out to Cambodia to save Cambodian schoolgirls from illiteracy, and then toured the magnificent Angkor Wat temple complex.

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And every year, Michelle Obama goes skiing in Colorado, because the slopes on the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia don’t possess that same exquisite powder.

Meantime, Obama’s solo vacations mostly involve golf. While most of his golf outings have been at military bases in the Washington area, the president has treated himself to many three-day golf weekends at famous resorts in California and Florida.

Those are just a few of the trips. And the press in the 1980s agonized endlessly about Nancy Reagan’s expensive dresses, which she paid for herself or borrowed.

The Obamas are the ultimate limousine liberals, who will never have to worry about not being able to pay higher insurance premiums caused by Obamacare, never have to live next door to a flop house of illegal immigrants, and never have to fear for their Second Amendment rights — they will be surrounded the rest of their lives by Secret Service bearing fully automatic assault rifles.

The Obamas, of course, are willing to share a bit of the 1 percent with their fellow citizens. That’s the level of economic growth Americans have had to cope with for the past seven-and-a-half years.