PoliZette

Party Time for Obama

He's only ever been good at campaigning, and now he'll cruise into retirement on the taxpayers' dime

With his three-day, taxpayer-funded family vacation last weekend to Carlsbad Caverns National Park in New Mexico and California’s Yosemite National Park, President Obama is set to begin the most fun, exciting — and frivolous — seven months of any presidency in modern history.

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Are you distressed that the economy is stalled at about 1 percent growth, that job creation at its lowest rate in years, that ISIS is plotting major attacks, and China is flexing its military muscle? Too bad. It’s playtime for Obama.

Obama’s extended diatribe against Donald Trump following the Orlando attacks points to just how self-indulgent this already narcissist president is prepared to be. Instead of trying to unite the country after the worst terrorist attack since 9/11, Obama opted for partisan politics instead. To the extent there will be any work being done at all during the remainder of his presidency, it will be political. So once he’s off the national park hiking trails, the fun really begins on the campaign trail for Hillary. And Obama has proven that his top skill is campaigning.

“I cannot wait to get out there and campaign for Hillary,” Obama said in a video he made for her campaign. Of course he can’t. Because like any leftist insurgent, Obama loves the revolution far more than governing.

Oh, the joy of it. The band will hit the road for its final farewell tour. Obama will barnstorm colleges and high schools across the nation to the delirious approbation of students indoctrinated in liberalism by their lefty curricula and professors. Because the youth, saddened at the defeat of their champion Bernie Sanders, will need some fire under their rumps to get them to the polls to support the corrupt Establishmentarian Hillary Clinton. Part of Obama’s speeches will be devoted to how great his presidency has been and the other part to how Hillary’s the gal to keep the hit parade going, with refrains peppered throughout delineating the evils of Donald Trump.

Obama will attend splendid gatherings at sumptuous estates, where he’ll collect obscenely fat checks from worshipful admirers for Hillary and the DNC.

Obama will attend splendid gatherings at sumptuous estates, where he’ll collect obscenely fat checks from worshipful admirers for Hillary and the DNC. Gwyneth Paltrow will tell him how handsome he is, and he can compare notes with Sean Penn on their favorite Latin American Communist murderers.

And if this isn’t pleasant enough, there will be the vacations. Obama will spend at least one of his seven remaining months in full relaxation mode. In August, he’ll jet up to Martha’s Vineyard to play golf and polish off lobsters with the 1 percent. Over Christmas and New Year’s, he’ll be in Hawaii, draining the island of its sushi and swinging his seven iron beneath the palm trees.

Yes, the golf. Obama has played 294 times as president so far, according to White House statistics keeper Mark Knoller of CBS, and he’ll easily cruise past the 300 mark this summer with his weekly Saturday outings. With his presidency effectively on the shelf, perhaps Sundays will be added in too, since church is never an inconvenience anyway. And there are five three-day weekends left before Inauguration Day 2017 (Veterans Day thankfully falls on a Friday and July 4 on a Monday) — offering irresistible opportunities for Obama’s usual golf holidays at taxpayers’ expense in locations around the United States.

Let’s not forget the exotic overseas trips. Obama will travel to Poland in July for the NATO Summit, attend the G-20 meeting in China in September, and head to Peru in November for APEC. And if he can put aside fears of Zika-bearing mosquitoes, maybe he’ll be found in Rio in August rooting for the United States — or Cuba, or whatever — at the Olympics.

Related: Obama’s Hidden Tax Hikes

Meantime, in the last week of June, Michelle Obama, her daughters, and her mom will embark on one of their regular overseas boondoggles, this one ostensibly to promote education for girls worldwide. Why that’s any of our business is anybody’s guess, but the Obama gals will travel to Liberia, Morocco, and Spain in a government jet you are paying for.

And there will be fabulous guests, parties, and East Room musical entertainment. June 6 was the 72nd anniversary of D-Day. Obama marked it by hosting the Denver Broncos.

The press corps, dispatched to the campaign trail, will hardly be showing up at the White House, so Obama will sit down with his favorite fawning journalists instead: YouTubers who bathe themselves in green shaving cream, late night talk show hosts, the hosts of daytime yenta fests like “The View,” and any other half-wit with millions of Twitter followers.

Because the governing part of his presidency is finished. Obama never could convince Congress to do anything unless he had Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi running the place for him, and for now the Republicans are in charge. So the tedious work of legislating, never something he did much of anyway, is done. He might find himself making a few calls to Capitol Hill in December during the lame-duck session to try to pass the Trans Pacific Partnership trade deal — assuming Republicans even decide to bring it up. But that will be about it.

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Beyond that, the work of the presidency will involve occasionally turning off ESPN to sign his name to some sweeping executive orders, leaving it to the courts to decide whether he acted in accordance with the annoyingly inconvenient Constitution. And he will have to convince a couple of Muslim nations to pluck the rest of the prisoners out of Guantanamo Bay, unless Ben Rhodes can finish the task for him. Meantime, Americans will have to contend with the sickly economy his presidency has bequeathed them, with record numbers sitting at home instead of even bothering to look for a job.

The states and businesses will grapple with the endless regulations and requirements he has burdened them with. Local police and the Department of Homeland Security will burn the midnight oil trying to ward off terrorist attacks by ISIS, the Islamist death machine he has permitted to metastasize around the world. And the Iranians will be performing maintenance on their mothballed centrifuges, waiting for the day in about ten years when they can start them spinning again and threaten the world with nuclear annihilation.

But none of this will intrude on Obama’s fun. He thinks everything is great and that he’s earning a seven-month victory lap. And he intends to take it.

Keith Koffler is the editor of the website White House Dossier.