Christmas Etiquette 101

Even when family members make every attempt to act cordial, tensions are usually high under the surface around the holidays.

The spirit of togetherness and giving can be deep, but easily overcome by the pettiness of poor etiquette. It’s easy for things to go wrong when distant relatives reunite.

It’s not a bad idea to refresh ourselves on universal standards of etiquette as we head into the festivities this season. Heeding these simple tips for steering conversation, acting cordially and giving and receiving gifts can make the difference between holiday fun and holiday hell.

Become a Gifted Conversationalist
It’s natural for conversations with our loved ones to include the issues and opinions that matter most, particularly when we have a break from our daily duties and a chance to think about what’s important in life. Unfortunately, this can include polarizing issues like politics and religion.

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It’s not necessary to censor topics from the dinner table, but it’s important to remember to keep things respectful and light. So when your college-age nephew comes home for Christmas vacation and launches into a tirade about Donald Trump, you don’t have to dismiss him — or even open the door for debate. Better to softly disengage by listening, smiling, and maintaining a temperament of good cheer without saying a word.

If conversations start to reach a boiling point, make an effort to defuse the tension by cutting in with a joke.

Avoiding sensitive personal subjects is also sound advice. With family and old family resurfacing, rumors are common around the holidays. It’s important to let rumors fall by the wayside, particularly if they are mean-spirited or unnecessary and old.

If you’re interested in inquiring about progress going on in people’s lives, focus on positive milestones. Bringing up a subject like work can be distressing for those who have lost their jobs, and asking about the kids can be a sensitive subject when a child is experiencing behavioral difficulties.

Success is relative, however, and every path has its ups and downs. If you are aware of a subject that may be sensitive, steer your conversation to the future. Christmas is a time of new beginnings. With the New Year only days away, people want to look with hope towards the future instead of dwelling on unresolved challenges of the past.

Gifting Dos and Don’ts
Let’s be honest. Receiving gifts is almost as much fun as giving them, and it’s hard to hide disappointment or awkward pauses when a gift doesn’t make sense. When opening presents, keep a positive perspective and assume that every gift has a story. You never know who may have gone out of their way to select a gift for you, thinking they found the perfect match.

Regifting is one of the more taboo subjects of the holidays. Standard etiquette disallows any regifting whatsoever. However, in the interests of being economical, regifting a present of yesteryear is better than allowing it to collect dust in storage.

If you’re going to regift, it’s important to do it in the right way. First, make an effort to find out whether the recipient of your regift has a practical use for it and appreciation for the gesture. Otherwise, you are simply handing a hot potato to someone else. This can be funny if it’s a “white elephant” gift, but otherwise, don’t bother.

You should also be aware that regifting hurts feelings. If the original gifter is around, take special care not to regift in their presence.

When it comes to returning or exchanging gifts, this is also ill-advised unless you’re exchanging for a different size or color.

Proper etiquette this holiday season is increasingly important in an age in which people seem to lack even the most basic social graces. Christmastime should revolve around spreading love and joining together. Inappropriate reactions to gifts, petty disagreements and misplaced questions can distract from the spirit of the holiday.

There’s no better time of year, and no better reason to prepare.