“What I need you two fellas to do is take those cleaning products and clean the inside of the car. And I’m talkin’ fast, fast, fast. You need to go in the backseat, scoop up all those little pieces of brain and skull. Get it out of there … What you need to take care of are the really messy parts. The pools of blood that have collected, you gotta soak that sh*t up.”
If you’ve seen the 1994 movie “Pulp Fiction,” then you know that’s The Wolf, directing his cleanup team to polish up a particularly grisly crime scene.
Now, change “cleaning products” to “Bleachbit,” and you have a modern, political version of The Wolf’s orders.
Were any of these other Cleaners given immunity by the FBI so that they could tell their story? Given all the mysteries, it doesn’t appear they were.
Because, you see, Hillary Clinton sometimes makes a mess. And the messes Clinton creates can make things very sticky for her. So the former secretary of state has her own Wolves, with their own cleansing formulas, ready to tidy up after the boss.
Last week’s dump of FBI materials related to Clinton’s email server drew back the curtain on a few of Clinton’s Cleaners.
We learned about Justin Cooper, technically an aide to Bill Clinton — Bill has his own cleaners, but that’s for another, much longer article — who made a potential high-tech mess go away in the most low-tech manner he could think of. He admitted, literally, to breaking in half or hammering to pieces two mobile devices that Hillary was finished with.
Apparently, Hillary Clinton's obsession with secrecy overrode her lust for cash. I mean, she must know you can get a credit for future purchases if you turn those things in, right?
Cooper's companions on Clinton's cleanup crew may have included someone who was supposed to receive a laptop full of her emails.
A Hillary Clinton aide, Monica Hanley, sought to transfer Clinton's email archive to the servers of Platte River Networks by downloading them onto a laptop and thumb drive and sending the laptop to a Platte River employee. The employee uploaded the emails and was instructed by Hanley to wipe the laptop. The employee deleted the emails — but didn't wipe the laptop. He then sent the incompletely cleansed laptop to an unidentified Clinton aide, who claims never to have received it.
Because it got lost in the mail.
"Clinton's staff was moving offices at the time, and it would have been easy for the package to get lost during the transition period," the aide said.
Now, that's a little better than "dog ate my homework," but not much. Was the laptop lost in the mail, or drilled by a Clinton Cleaner into high-tech shards with a jackhammer? We may never know.
The thumb drive is missing, too.
Another unidentified Clinton Cleaner didn't earn his cleaning pay when he completely forgot to clean things up. After being told in December 2014 to get rid of Hillary's emails, the aide dithered around for months, cleaning other stuff — or whatever. After the House Benghazi committee in March 2015 ordered the emails be preserved, the aide had an "Oh sh*t" moment and got down to the task of cleansing, zapping the emails with a technology called Bleachbit that, in the words of Benghazi panel Chairman Rep. Trey Gowdy, removed them so thoroughly that "even God couldn't read them."
Well, the Lord, who sees all, presumably had already read them before Bleachbit got to them. But the Lord cannot be deposed by the FBI.
New revelations indicate the cleaner in charge of deleting emails was given an immunity deal but were any of these other Cleaners given immunity by the FBI so that they could tell their story? Given all the mysteries, it doesn't appear they were.
This leads us to the Mother of All Cleaners, Cheryl Mills. She was the one who, in December 2014 — nearly two years after Clinton had departed as secretary of state — suddenly decided to "modify the retention policy," as the mainstream media called it. That is, she ordered the emails erased since Clinton no longer needed them. The new "retention policy" was — don't retain them.
Mills is a Clinton Cleaner from way back. She served in the White House counsel's office under Bill Clinton, helping clean up his Monica Lewinsky mess by defending him before the Senate during his 1999 impeachment trial. She then served as Hillary's chief of staff at State, perhaps performing other unknown cleaning work, and then afterward remained close to the Clintons.
Strangely, though herself a subject of the FBI email investigation this year, she was also permitted to act as Clinton's attorney during the probe and sat with the former secretary of state during her FBI interview. Was she providing legal advice or making sure everyone had their story straight?
It's not the first time Hillary may have used her chief of staff to clean up. Back in 1995, after White House aide Vince Foster killed himself, the then-first lady's chief of staff, Maggie Williams, was seen by a Secret Service officer carrying folders out of Foster's office the night his body was found. Williams denied the claim.
Nothing to see here. Just a little cleaning up.
Keith Koffler is the editor of the website White House Dossier.