In the past several months, young students at Penn State, LSU, and Lafayette College have lost their lives in alcohol-involved incidents. In their enormous grief, some parents have spoken out, hoping to help other parents and college officials intervene to stem the lethal tide.

Sadly, despite their efforts, the tide has grown to tsunamic proportions — and our nation’s youth are being pulled under by it.

As the tragedies mount, parents search for answers. Alcohol-related deaths among young college students have been grabbing headlines, yet despite the coverage, the losses continue. Parents are desperate for solid guidance on how they can ensure they will never see their teens added to the grisly list.

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Throughout LifeZette’s interviews on this subject, several common themes emerged. Namely: Start communicating early with your kids about the issue, communicate clearly about it, and take special precautions with students at high risk.

Dr. Susan L. Mayo, a psychologist based in Cobb County, Georgia, emphasized the importance of setting boundaries early and laying a firm foundation at home. Mayo advocates for frank, honest discussions beginning as early as possible — around middle school age — regarding the consequences of drinking. She suggested parents be blunt and concrete.

Early, proactive parental intervention is particularly important among youth who are “at risk,” she noted. Among children who might be vulnerable to drinking too much or developing an addiction are those with “impulsivity problems,” such as kids with ADD/ADHD, as well as those with a history of addiction among family members and those with certain pre-existing psychological issues such as depression.

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Paul Warning, an Illinois-based licensed professional clinical counselor, concurred, saying, “Ideally, this is not a conversation parents have the day their senior goes off to college.” He cautioned parents against the lecture approach. By college age, students “neither need nor want [such a lecture].”

Instead, Warning suggested a more direct approach with young college students. For example:

  • Ask directly whether they are drinking and, if so, how much.
  • Realize that students may not be honest with you.
  • Know that students can get so caught up in the moment they lose track of their goals and future.
  • It’s helpful to bring them back to their goals and to what’s important in life. Ask: “How does this affect your plans to be a ___? What are the risks, and what are the rewards?”

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Of particular concern, he said, are the young college students whose parents have not “permitted” them to engage in significant, independent decision-making as teens. “Parents need to realize their role is to be less a ‘helicopter parent’ and more of a consultant to their children.” These students, Warning noted, may be at higher risk for “going wild” when they initially experience the freedoms of college life.

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Among the many advocates for starting preventive initiatives early are community volunteer powerhouses such as Kathy Fazio. Since 1988, when her own son was a high school junior, she has been organizing an event at a small, Midwestern high school in Norwalk, Iowa, called After Prom.

Begun by teacher Denny Wulf in the mid 1980s, After Prom is a well-attended event that occurs during its namesake time period — from prom night through the following morning, when prom attendees are at highest risk for alcohol and drug-related incidents.

“Our main goal is to keep the kids safe and to show them they can have a good time and have fun without drugs or alcohol,” said Fazio.

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Though the program has been wildly successful, she lamented that it is difficult to get parents to volunteer their help in pulling off the staff-intensive event. Parents do, however, come though with donations of food and snacks.

Fazio noted proudly that the entire Norwalk community is part of the push to keep kids safe and alcohol-free on prom night. From the fire department’s hosting of a pancake breakfast the morning after, to pizza and sub sandwich donations from local small businesses, the town is committed to the preventive efforts in this area.

Despite the town-wide support, Fazio remains concerned about a small contingent of people who seem to work against the goal.

Her point: “I cannot believe there are parents who get hotel rooms for their [underage, high school] students or even host parties with alcohol at their homes. What is that teaching the child? Also, over the years, I think that parents want to be ‘friends’ with their children. [The kids] need ‘parents.'”

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The few months between senior prom and college freshman orientation pass quickly. The majority of students will weather the experience, including pledging and parties, quite safely — but others will not be so lucky.

Once they’re on campus, when protective events like After Prom are mostly unavailable, students are in charge of their own safety and security when it comes to drugs and alcohol. But when parents have done their jobs from day one as advocates, protectors, consultants, and listening ears — but mostly as parents — their newly minted college students will be much more likely to have the skills and experience they need to do just that: Take care of themselves.

Michele Blood is a freelance writer with a passion for children’s literature. Based in Flemington, New Jersey, she leverages her background in psychology in her work for publishers, businesses and NPOs.

(photo credit, article image: Mihnea Maftei, Flickr)