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I have found that though children view Mom’s love as unconditional (because in their minds, she has to love them), a father’s love is negotiable. They believe they have to stay in your good graces so you’ll keep loving them. That’s why they will sometimes push you away again and again — they are testing your love.

Most teen minds think about it like this: “Does he really mean that he’ll love me no matter what? I’ll bet if I push enough of his buttons, he’ll give up on me.”

Prove them wrong — be steady and consistent — gently break down their walls by standing firm in your love for them.

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3.) He’s honest. I talk about this in my new book, “Hero,” so I’m just going to give you a little excerpt of that to explain this point.

Honesty is enormously important for children — and if you want your children’s trust, you need to be honest with them. I know that being honest can be hard, and many of us assume that indulging a small, white lie can be an act of kindness. But children never like being lied to, even if the lies seem trivial to parents.

Children instinctively believe, as Albert Einstein did, that “anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.”

Nothing more endangers the trust your child places in you than dishonesty.

When you tell the truth, on the other hand, you teach that reality is nothing to fear. When they see you telling the truth, they see bravery and they learn that they, too, can confront any situation. But when they hear lies, they intuit that you don’t believe that they have what it takes to handle the truth, and they, as a consequence, become more fearful and insecure.

Related: Dads, Step into Your Hero Role — Kids Need It

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Trust, integrity, and truth are all part of being a hero, and all part of being a dad.

Be the man of integrity, be the man they can trust, and be the man who tells the truth.

Dr. Meg Meeker has practiced pediatrics and adolescent medicine for more than 30 years. She is the author of the new book, “Hero: Being the Strong Father Your Children Need” (Regnery Publishing, May 2017), as well as a number of digital parenting resources and online courses, including The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids.