Parenting at a Time of Terrorism

Turning on the evening news is dicey business if you have children at home. Another set of bombs in a mall, on a sidewalk, or in a café — what do you say to your children? Or should you simply ignore the reality of evil around them?

These are serious questions that every parent must reconcile. But helping children live unafraid in a dangerous world has been the job of parents throughout history.

Related: Kids Don’t Need Terror

And there are ways to do this successfully. Let’s look at some of them.

1.) Provide security at home.
Children need to feel safe at home, if nowhere else. So make sure your little ones feel physically secure at home. And let them know that home is the best place to find answers for dealing with frightening issues like terrorism.

Make sure you tell the kids your plan to help keep them safe.

2.) Talk about evil in the world.
When I was in first grade living outside of Washington, D.C., we had school drills teaching us how to reach a bomb shelter quickly. President John F. Kennedy was confronting the Cuban Missile Crisis and our neighborhood was within striking distance. But I didn’t live with fear because my parents and teachers told us that life was dangerous and they had a plan to deal with danger.

One of the worst things we can do with our children is tell them that evil doesn’t exist. They know it does — so never be afraid to talk with your children about evil and bad people, but make sure you tell them your plan to help keep them safe.

3.) Teach them to live wisely, but unafraid.
Even children know that knowledge is power. Teach your kids that yes, there are people in the world who want to hurt them, but bad people have always tried to harm people — even when you were young.

Teach them they can learn how to avoid dangerous situations and be safe and that you are there — right beside them — to show them how.

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4.) Encourage them to ask questions.
One of the surest ways to keep children afraid is to teach them that there are some questions about people or situations that should never be asked. Older children are especially bullied into silence when it comes to terrorism. They fear asking teachers and parents questions because they don’t want to appear phobic, racist, or unintelligent.

Make sure you tell your children — especially teens — that you invite their questions about another person’s motives, beliefs, or understanding of the world.

The biggest mistake a parent can make with a child is to shut down their questions, because then they truly become at risk for being afraid.

Dr. Meg Meeker has practiced pediatrics and adolescent medicine for 30 years. She is the author of the online course, “The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids,” which is part of The Strong Parent Project.