After years of practice and preparation, losing in the Olympics is one of the most disappointing events in an athlete’s life. But from such an occurrence, others can learn the benefits of responding to loss with humility and grace.
In a game packed with back-and-forth plays, American beach volleyball star Kerri Walsh Jennings and her partner April Ross lost to Brazil in the Rio volleyball semifinals Tuesday night. The 38-year-old Walsh Jennings has won 26 times in her career, dating back to the 2004 Olympics in Athens — this match marked her first Olympic loss.
“Losing with humility builds stronger character than winning with arrogance,” said Dr. Meg Meeker.
“If you see a weakness, you go after it,” said Walsh Jennings, according to USA Today. “My weakness was I wasn’t passing the ball. Tonight [my opponents from Brazil] rose to the occasion. I certainly did not, and there’s no excuse for it.”
Walsh Jennings humbly blamed herself for her loss. She accepted defeat and, after reflecting on the game, identified the need for personal improvement.
American sprinter Allyson Felix had a similar reaction after Shaunae Miller of the Bahamas dove over the finish line, winning the gold by a hair in the women’s 400-meter race.
Related: Allyson Felix Finds Strength in Faith
When asked if she thought Miller’s dive won the race, Felix replied, “I don’t know. I had to dig as deep as I could to put it all out there,” according to The Guardian.
Psychotherapist Kelley Kitley of Chicago told LifeZette, “Not winning is part of the process, and it makes us strive to continue to do and be better. Every experience is a learning process.”
Parents can use the Olympic losses to teach children how to deal with defeat properly and to grow from the process.
“Teaching a child to lose with grace and humility builds stronger character than winning with pride,” Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician and mother of her own four children, said. “Losing with humility builds stronger character than winning with arrogance.”
Speaking of ego, American soccer player Hope Solo became an example of what not to do in this situation, after the women’s soccer team lost to Sweden in a penalty shoot shutout.
Instead of criticizing herself and taking the blame gracefully, as Walsh Jennings did, Solo blamed the Swedish team for the American loss.
[lz_ndn video=31278764]
She highlighted the mistakes of Sweden’s team — instead of commenting on how to improve her own performance.
“I’m very proud of this [American] team. But I also think we played a bunch of cowards,” Solo commented after the loss, USA Today reported. “The best team did not win today.”
Solo’s post-game comments also serve as a teaching moment for parents: Being a sore loser doesn’t help anyone.
“Teaching a child to lose with humility and grace helps him love himself and others,” Dr. Meeker said. “Winning teaches him to love himself.”
Kitley said those lessons go far beyond the field. “We can apply losing to [children’s] lives in school, friendships, sports. We’re not always going to ‘win’ or be right,” she said.
Parents also need to remind their kids they are not the only player on the field.
“There is always going to be someone who is better than us,” said Kitley. “The way to really grow is to play with or against people who are better than us.”
After a loss, Kitley suggested parents ask their children, “Did you learn anything in the process?”
Parents should also “reaffirm how proud you are of your children, regardless if they win or lose.”
Join the Discussion
Comments are currently closed.