The latest social media maelstrom is one every parent can understand.

The owner of Marcy’s Diner in Portland, Maine, is under fire for yelling at a nearly two-year-old in her restaurant last week.

Seems the child’s family ordered several pancakes, and when the toddler couldn’t eat them right away she started to scream. And scream. This lasted for either 10 minutes or nearly an hour, depending upon whose story one believes.

What’s not in dispute is that Marcy’s Diner owner Darla Neugebauer yelled at the child to stop. The heated words didn’t stop there. Both Neugebauer and the child’s parent took to Facebook to keep the fight alive. The language got salty in a hurry.

So who was right?

As a father who eats out with our young boys at least twice a week, I’ll offer something more helpful than an opinion: Here are three golden rules for eating out with small children.

  1. Pack wisely: It’s not enough to assume the hostess will give your children crayons and paper. Bring your own. Pack your child’s favorite pop-up book or self-contained toy (no balls or other throw-worthy items, please). Coloring books are a fine choice. So is a tablet in a pinch, but either bring headphones or keep the volume low. In a perfect world you’re training your children to behave in a public place, so use the tablet option only when all else fails.
  2. Exit, stage right: Parents must act immediately when a child starts misbehaving – crying, throwing items or wandering around the restaurant. Show your fellow patrons that you recognize the problem and are trying to solve it. Should the matter continue, it’s time to take the toddler outside. Your fellow diners are spending their hard-earned money, and time, on a delicious meal they couldn’t make at home. They don’t deserve to have their meal spoiled by a child’s caterwauling.
  3. Select the right restaurant: Some establishments simply aren’t well suited to young patrons. Chains like Red Robin, however, are fully prepared for toddlers and their tantrums. The servers expect imperfect behavior, and the menus offer a crush of kid-friendly options. If you must eat at that expensive Italian restaurant with all the rave reviews, please wait until Date Night, fellow parents.

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