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In the study, the Families and Work Institute’s National Study of the Changing Workforce found higher-income fathers have increased their involvement with their children by 65 percent over the last 30 years, which has led to decreased behavioral problems for boys and fewer psychological problems for girls.

The report found gender disparity remains, in terms of who cooks and cleans in the household. Women spend an average of 66 minutes each day on these chores; men spend about 26 minutes.

The study encourages companies and government to provide paid parental leave for all parents. At least 49 countries provide some form of paternity leave for fathers.

But that may not change things all that much because — according to a study by the D.C. nonprofit Project: Time Off — Americans do not use their vacation time. They take an average of 16.2 days out of their 21.19 vacation days, and more than half leave some vacation time unused. Some 37 percent told surveyors they could not leave because their workload was too large and 35 percent thought “no one else could do the job.”

Providing for the family is a key part of parenting. As the Project: Time Off study shows, many Americans worry more about keeping their jobs and doing them right than traveling with their families.

Is this good or bad? Culture tells us to spend time with the kids and to feel guilty if we choose otherwise.  

In the movie “Hook,” Robin Williams has a a stressful phone call with a colleague about how his $5 billion business deal is falling apart. His children are being loud and rowdy around him. His wife does nothing to silence them or to escort them out of the room while he’s on an important call. When he finally, in anger, tells his children to be quiet, everyone in the room looks at him as if he’s the bad guy instead of the breadwinner struggling to hold together their financial world.

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On the other hand, part of being a good parent is providing a stable home. And that’s a lot easier when dads can get and keep a job.

When Michelle Obama tells men “to be better,” she’s launching a criticism that would never be directed at women. Moreover, as the data indicates, men are indeed far better now than at any time in recent history at working hard and still making maximum time for their families.

It’s not true that they “don’t have to balance anything.” They’re balancing now as never before — with their children at the forefront of all they do day and night.

Lecturing them otherwise is an insult — and an out-of-date one at that.