Your college student arrives home for fall break and announces at the dinner table she’s voting for Hillary Clinton because she wants to see the first woman president elected.

She has no idea what Hillary will do for the economy — or about her work as secretary of state. She wants Hillary because she can’t stand Donald Trump.

Related: Our Young People Can’t Bail on This Election

The two of you begin to argue, and before you know it, your daughter runs up to her room, calls you a bigot, and slams the door. What should you do?

Or — your 11th-grader comes home from school and tells you that you must absolutely not vote for Donald Trump because he hates Mexicans, women, and refugees. If you do vote for him, your son says he won’t speak to you for a week. What do you say to him?

Many (most) parents find themselves in the middle of an election firestorm, particularly when it comes to speaking to their kids about the candidates. It appears no one can win an argument — because the truth is, the contest has so drastically veered from policy, economic or social issues that each of us has a really hard time talking to our kids, or anyone, about them.

We, too, fall into the trap of repeating what the media outlets share most — the candidates’ personalities and behavior. And that has become — well, gutter talk.

Related: Kids Are Victims of ‘Scary’ Election-Day Hype

While we have no influence over what the media discusses or how, we can control the talk in our homes. This has been the most volatile, disturbing election in my lifetime, and I am determined to bring a bit of sanity to the discussions I have surrounding the election. I encourage you to do the same, especially if you have teens or young adults in your home.

Here are three tips to keep you calm and sane in political discussions with your kids:

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1.) Refuse to talk about Hillary Clinton’s or Donald Trump’s personalities.
This is hard, but avoid discussing those with your kids if you can. Steer the conversation away from personality traits and remind your kids instead that voting for a person because of gender, race, or personality is not healthy. They must consider the candidates’ policies (and they need to find out about those policies, with your help).

Make sure your kids know why you’ve chosen one political party over another.

2.) Use this as an opportunity to educate your kids about the differences between Republican and Democratic views on real issues.
Talk to your kids about governmental control and involvement, economic policy differences, views on social issues such as abortion and immigration, and how each candidate would choose a Supreme Court justice and why. Young people need to know why we have two distinct parties in the U.S.

Take the time to focus squarely on the issues, and explain which candidate you most align with based on what is most important to you. This is a great opportunity to talk with your kids about what is important to them, as well. Whether you are a Republican or Democrat, make your case to your kids. Make sure they know why you’ve chosen the party that you have.

3.) Be positive. Explain to them why we have a great political system in the U.S.
Fortunately, presidents have limited power because of the three branches of government. Remind them we have a good system and it should never be changed. Another type of political system like communism or socialism would give far too much power to leaders and this is never a good thing, especially when the leaders running for office have the lowest favorability records in history.

Related: Crazy Election Season Makes Parenting Harder

We will make it through this election season, and so will your kids. Keep the conversations focused on what they need to be focused on: the issues — not the personalities.

Dr. Meg Meeker has practiced pediatrics and adolescent medicine for 30 years. She is the author of the online course, “The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids,” which is part of The Strong Parent Project.