If you’re in business or politics, the last thing you want is to be associated with bribery and corruption.

There is a right way, apparently, to use bribery as a parenting tactic.

But as a mom, I’m here to tell you that despite what some parenting experts tell you, a little bribery is not all that bad every now and then — at least, not when you’re dealing with a four-year-old like my daughter, Kate.

Doling out bribes as a parent is akin to an art form. If the bribes are offered too often, at the wrong time, or in gigantic doses, kids can get the wrong idea — and they’ll turn the tables on you and won’t do anything unless they’re given something in return. After all, kids can learn to depend on rewards in order to cooperate.

So I’m careful not to get too carried away. But bribery — without the corruption, of course — is a part of my parenting toolbox.

At breakfast: “If you eat your cereal, I’ll give you some gummies.”

At the mall: “If you’re good while we’re shopping, we’ll stop at the play land before we go home.”

At bedtime: “If you brush your teeth, we’ll read a story.”

Kate hasn’t yet caught on that what I’m “bribing” her with isn’t all that special. Gummies in the morning? Well, those are actually gummy vitamins — something she’d get anyway. Letting Kate burn off some energy at the mall play land before we go home? That’s my chance to sit down and catch my breath for 5 or 10 minutes before we head home. And the bedtime story? I love reading her stories at bedtime. The fact that she’ll happily brush her teeth without much of a fight if I offer it to her is just a bonus.

That’s the right way to use bribery as a parenting tactic, said Virginia Shiller, a licensed clinical psychologist in New Haven, Connecticut, and the author of “Rewards for Kids! Ready-to-Use Charts & Activities for Positive Parenting.”

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[lz_bulleted_list title=”The Bottom Line on Bribes” source=”Virginia Shiller in parenting.com”]When given at the right times and for the right reasons, little rewards show young kids that good things come to those who work for them.|Silly games can also inspire good behavior in your kids and divert your children from bad behavior.|Offer rewards for the desired behavior before your child has a chance to misbehave. That way, you can feel in charge of the terms, both what you’re offering and why.[/lz_bulleted_list]

Schiller, though, says “reward” is a better description.

“If a reward or bribe is offered at a calm time, and the parent’s expectations are made clear ahead of time, the child earns the reward or bribe,” Shiller said. “Parents can use this as a teaching opportunity — to discuss why the new behaviors are needed and strategies for helping kids meet the goal.”

In that sense, bribery can actually be very effective.

“Parents can empathize about the problem and stress they are on the child’s side,” said Shiller. “You could tell your child, ‘I know when we go to the grocery store it can be really hard, and sometimes you get bored. I’ve got a plan for how it can be a little easier. There are 10 aisles in the store. So let’s count them as we go. If you can use your ‘big girl’ voice and not kick the cart, we’ll do something special together later.’ The incentive could be something like a trip to the park or getting to play a game with Mom or Dad. And parents can praise the child at the end of the grocery trip, and say how proud they were of the behavior.”

That’s pretty much in line with what I’ve been doing with my daughter. I’ll admit, of course, that there are definitely times I up the ante.

I bought Kate a little necklace at the store the other day so that she’d stop whining and sit in the cart long enough for me to get all my shopping done. I let her watch three episodes of “Sofia the First” so I could read a magazine in peace and quiet. Last Saturday, I groggily told her she could eat a cookie for breakfast if she’d let me sleep for 30 minutes longer (and yes, it worked).

But, Shiller warned I shouldn’t offer an incentive for everything I want Kate to do.

“Parents should pick the situations that are most problematic,” she advised. “Other times, parents can try to make a tedious exercise — like picking up toys — more fun by singing a song while they pick up the toys or setting a timer and seeing if they can get the toys picked up before the timer goes off.”

Good point

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Still, bribery can work. I’m sure some parenting experts will tell me I’m traveling down a slippery slope, and plenty of experts will call it unwise — or maybe even dangerous. I get that. But you know what? Those parenting experts don’t live in my house. They don’t have my daughter — and they aren’t me.

And kids, like anyone, tend to respond to bribery — I mean, rewards or incentives.

Now if someone wants to offer me a large sum of cash, diamonds, or a new car, perhaps I’ll rethink my stance on all of this.

Janna Farley is a mom in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.