In a heartbreaking story reported just before Christmas, an infant died in her bassinet of dehydration and starvation three or four days after her parents died from suspected drug overdoses, reported the Associated Press.

Jason Chambers, 27; Chelsea Cardaro, 19; and little five-month-old Summer Chambers were found dead on Dec. 22 in Kernville, Pennsylvania, about 60 miles east of Pittsburgh.

These kids need to develop a “struggle muscle.”

The growing opioid epidemic in the U.S. has garnered attention from all corners. Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and Former Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy recently appeared on NPR to discuss their private initiative to address the epidemic. Stories like the Kernville tragedy and so many others should not happen in a country so rich in resources.

Almost all tragic opioid crisis stories have one thing in common: Some form of drug or alcohol use began during an individual’s teen years.

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“Teen users are at significantly higher risk of developing an addictive disorder compared to adults, and the earlier they began using, the higher their risk,” reports Drugwarfacts.org. “Nine out of 10 people who meet the clinical criteria for substance use disorders involving nicotine, alcohol or other drugs began smoking, drinking or using other drugs before they turned 18.”

As parents, we need to understand how and why children end up going off the rails and into dangerous behavior, and what to do when we discover it to avoid the child growing up into another statistic — an addict.

All of these topics are very difficult to address, and they stem from a variety of circumstances, according to Dr. Jason Stein of Brentwood, California. Stein is a licensed family therapist with a doctorate in clinical psychology.

You might be surprised at one big factor in addiction: boredom.

Related: When Teens Are Randomly Drug-Tested

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“Boredom is a major reason for kids to move into drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity,” Stein told LifeZette. “Kids in contemporary culture are less tolerant of having to work to make their lives enjoyable, to make things fun, to find a passion, to make friends, to leave their comfort zone, and take risks.”

These kids, he says, need to develop a “struggle muscle.” Their boredom is also the result of technology, which creates instant gratification — push a button and a package arrives at the door. There is an instant high from drugs, alcohol, and sex that feeds into this need for instant happiness and contentment.

To understand how to steer kids away from these things early in life means understanding the reason they act out “is generally related to having a lack of responsibility or the tools to navigate life’s struggles,” said Stein. “So we see that behavioral problems, such as being defiant or oppositional, are really ways of creating distraction from a lack of self-esteem.”

Stein refers to “existential paralysis” — the realization that teens are on cusp of seeing their future as adults, are terrified, and are scared to move forward. Instead, they escape.

Related: The Drugs That Are Wrecking Our Kids

The prescription, then, is preventative care, which includes being an involved and observant parent with tools to guide children before they go off the rails. Said Stein, “The child who feels secure in the family is more likely to be confident in the world. The child in the family needs to feel loved, understood, accepted — and this is key — for who they are, as opposed to who they are supposed to be.” It is that child who feels competent in the social and academic world who will be more willing to take risks, and do the work required of life.

That’s all well and good, but what about the parent whose child is already having difficulties with addiction?

It is extraordinarily challenging, said Stein, but in order to remedy the situation, “it is the parents who first must be willing and able, with a sense of humility, to admit that something isn’t working.” That can be a very difficult admission to make, but the parents have to get past their own wounded ego and accept the situation as it is.

Very often, Stein said, this is the result of unresolved issues from the parents’ own childhood that is affecting their parenting. Figuring that out may require therapy for the parent.

“The first thing is to realize,” Stein counseled, “is that there’s a gap in communication, and have honest dialogue about what the child needs. Before you can address the behavior, you have to ask questions, and assume nothing.”

“Take this as an opportunity, not a crisis, and you’ll have a better chance of success.”

It is critical, Stein cautioned, that the child have an opportunity to speak his or her mind and heart. Solutions will not immediately show themselves after that first conversation, he warned. In fact, quick decisions in this context are often bad decisions. Instead, take a break. Let everyone digest what is discussed initially.

Finally, Stein issued a surprising and unexpected truth. “Even in the best-case scenario, there are parts of every child that a parent will never know about or understand. It’s OK. That’s how things are. We only see the tip of the iceberg much of the time. We take what we see in our kids and then extrapolate that to what’s under the surface. Yet we must accept they are their own beings.”

Most of all, Stein said, “This isn’t an epic fail on your part. Take this as an opportunity, not a crisis, and you’ll have a better chance of success.”