Are You Raising an Olympian?

As a pediatrician, I have cared for a handful of elite athletes over the years and have loved watching these young people go from wiry kids to Olympic-level competitors.

I’ve learned a few things about how to spot the next batch of outstanding athletes. Since many parents question at some time or another whether or not their child has Olympic potential, I thought I would share with you what I’ve learned.

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Many parents enroll their kids in gymnastics, track, ice hockey, downhill skiing and more when they are under five years old. By age eight, most kids have shown their parents their particular athletic gifts. The parents see their children’s talents and offer them lessons, coaches — you name it — to give them an opportunity to excel.

That is — if the kids want to. This is the million-dollar question. What ultimately counts is not the parent’s drive, but the child’s drive to excel. Most parents don’t like that at all.

Here are a few ways you can tell if your child really has the whole package — the talent, desire, personality, and heart to make it to the Olympics. You must be able to answer these four key questions in the affirmative.

1.) Is your child really talented?
First and foremost, you have to know if your child is truly gifted in a sport. Since most parents are convinced their children are gifted, it’s best to ask a coach or two and look at the numbers. A good coach can evaluate a 10-year-old and determine if the child’s talent exceeds that of his or her peers.

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Equally important is to look at the victories and losses your child has accrued in a sport. Is your child really shining at gymnastic tournaments or ski races? Or do you find yourself saying, “He has the talent but just isn’t motivated?” If the latter is the case, he really may not have unusual talent. Sorry.

2.) Does your child have the heart of an elite athlete?
The elite athletes I have cared for are unstoppable. At age 10, they beg their parents to get them to the pool by 5 a.m. At 13, they are finding rides to state tournaments whether or not their parents can accompany them. These are the kids who want to excel badly. They love to swim, work out at the gym, and get upset if their parents rein them in.

If you are prodding, bribing, or coaxing your child to work out — don’t. He doesn’t want the Olympics.

3.) Is your child willing to give up other activities, sports, friends and family time to train?
If your 15-year-old complains constantly about having to miss fun times to train, give in. By the mid-teen years, athletes separate into two groups — and you can’t determine which group your child will choose.

It has to come from deep within the child — not you. This means that if your 15-year-old is still willing to skip family vacations, forget outings with friends, or give up other sports in order to train, he’s in the running. But he’s far from there yet. If not, let up on your child and don’t push. The most common time I see kids burn out from sports is when their parents push them to play during sophomore year of high school. If parents push them past this — everyone loses. Kids rebel and parents wonder why their kids don’t want to talk to them.

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4.) Will your child take time off from training, then go back without a fight?
All athletes need to rest their bodies periodically in order to recover. This means they need a few weeks during the year to back off from the sport. Even elite athletes need to rest — but some of them don’t want to. The key to determining if your child is a potential Olympian is to see how he or she responds to returning to training.

Yes, it’s grueling, but those who might make it to the Olympics go back to training pretty easily. They don’t grumble all day to their parents.

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In short, here’s why I believe it’s important for all parents to review these guidelines: At some point most parents will be convinced their child has the ability to excel at a specific sport, and when they do — they begin pushing that child at an early age. Don’t do this. Instead, enroll your kids in a variety of different sports and see if they like one or two. If so, then go ahead and encourage them to stay the course for a while, and if you see their interest waning, ride with it to see if it’s permanent. If so, don’t keep pushing. You will frustrate yourself and them and your relationship will become strained.

Remember this, too: Even the majority of kids who meet the above four criteria don’t get to the Olympics. They may play a college sport at a Division 1 school and enjoy that just fine.

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I have watched many parents become disappointed over the years by children who push back and say, “No thanks, Mom and Dad, I don’t want to keep going with my sport.” This is the overwhelming majority of kids. Even most teens who spend weekends away from families year in and year out to play hockey, soccer, you name it, don’t go on to play in college. And how sad it is for them that all of those weekends when they could have made wonderful memories with their families — they didn’t.

So, dear parents, please keep your wits about you when it comes to your kids and sports. You may well have an Olympian on your hands and if you do, let him show you that. No matter what you want, how much money you spend, or how much time you sacrifice with him, remember that time with your child is too precious to waste on pushing him to become something he’ll probably give up by the time college comes around.

Dr. Meg Meeker has practiced pediatrics and adolescent medicine for 30 years. She is the author of the online course, “The 12 Principles of Raising Great Kids,” which is part of The Strong Parent Project.